Why Men Struggle With Emotions: Fixer-Type Masculinity, Anger, and Healing w/ Jon Waller, LMHC

In this episode of The Holistic Counselor Podcast, licensed therapist and host Diana S. Rice, LMHC, CIMHP sits down with Jon Waller, LMHC, owner of New River Counseling in Fort Lauderdale, to dive deep into men's mental health, modern masculinity, emotional disconnection, and the cultural pressures that shape how men show up in relationships, faith, and everyday life.

Together, Diana and Jon unpack the silent battles many men face—why so many avoid feelings, what creates emotional shutdown, and how "fixer-type" men can learn to communicate differently without feeling weak or ashamed. Jon also explains why spaces like the Red Pill, Groypers, incel forums, and the broader manosphere appeal to young men who feel disconnected, unsupported, or resentful—and what healthier connection can look like.

If you're a man who feels stuck, a woman trying to understand the man in your life, or a clinician working with male clients, this episode offers a grounded, trauma-informed, faith-aware conversation that meets men where they are and gives practical tools for growth.

Notable Quotes

From Jon:

"If what you're into isn't actually helping you feel more loved—especially by a woman—then it might be time to consider there's an alternative out there."

From Diana:

"Do you want the relationship, or do you want to be right? Because the pursuit of being right often blocks the connection you're actually longing for."

In This Episode We Explore:

• Why men struggle to talk about emotions and how cultural conditioning reinforces emotional shutdown

• The difference between anger and rage, and how sadness, shame, or fear often fuel explosive reactions

• Sarcasm, "I'm just kidding," defensiveness, and stonewalling as covert expressions of unspoken emotion

• Why younger men increasingly gravitate toward the Red Pill, Groypers, content creators, and manosphere spaces

• The deep impact of father wounds, mother wounds, intergenerational trauma, and childhood narratives

• How machismo, faith communities, and family culture shape male emotional expression

• Masculine and feminine energy as a spectrum—not a rulebook

• Step-by-step how Jon works with emotionally shut-down men:

  • Behavioral tools

  • Motivational Interviewing (MI)

  • Body scanning + breathwork

  • Naming internal experiences

  • Adlerian and inner-child work

• A compassionate message for women partnered with withdrawn or avoidant men

• A direct challenge to men: "Is your current way of coping actually making your life better?"

About Today's Guest: Jon Waller, LMHC

Jon Waller is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and owner of New River Counseling, specializing in men's emotional health, relationship patterns, and personal growth. With 20+ years of experience, Jon helps men build emotional integrity, break unhelpful patterns, and create deeper connection—without shame.

He also serves as an Instructor for The REAL Courses, a weekend personal-development intensive grounded in Adlerian psychology and experiential growth work.

Learn more: New River Counseling: https://newrivercounseling.net/ The REAL Courses: https://therealcourses.com/

Mentioned Modalities & Approaches

• Motivational Interviewing (MI)

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

• Person-centered / Rogers / unconditional positive regard

• Adlerian experiential therapy

• Inner child work

• Psychoeducation and emotional vocabulary building

• Body scanning + breathwork

• Attachment dynamics (avoidant, anxious, shut-down patterns)

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Each episode takes 3–5 hours to prepare, research, record, and produce with care and trauma-informed intention.

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Connect with Diana

Through the Valley Therapy: https://www.throughthevalleytherapy.com/ Podcast Playlist (YouTube): https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQFWkIv_9U7NrmG0k-EE1FOSCiMDlIXPo