Healing After Domestic Violence & Spiritual Abuse with Anna Marie Lopes, Abuse-Recovery & Post-Traumatic Growth Coach

In this conversation, Anna Marie Lopes—abuse-recovery & post-traumatic growth coach, founder of Brave & Free, and Engagement Director at the Healing & CPTSD Community Hub—shares her journey from witnessing domestic violence and surviving an abusive marriage to building a global community that helps survivors reclaim voice, identity, and freedom. We talk CPTSD vs. PTSD, spiritual abuse, self-advocacy in healthcare, and practical nervous-system regulation tools that supported her healing, all through a faith-informed lens.

Mission fit: The Holistic Counselor Podcast exists to break stigma in churches and BIPOC communities by bridging faith, science, and holistic wellness—and Anna's story models that integration in real life.

What you'll learn

• What CPTSD can look/feel like day-to-day—and why many survivors only get "anxiety/depression" labels

• How spiritual abuse hides in plain sight, and how to disentangle faith from manipulation

• Practical tools Anna used to move through flashbacks, hypervigilance, and body memories

• How community care (support circles, survivor-led spaces) accelerates healing

• When coaching helps, when licensed therapy is essential, and how they work together

• A faith-anchored reframe: separating God's character from people who misuse scripture

Notable quotes (Anna)

• "Be your own brave. The next courageous step is yours—and it may look different than anyone else's."

• "For me, the first thing was to differentiate God from men… just because someone uses the Bible doesn't mean God is a reflection of that person."

• "It was as if I was in a constant state of danger—hypervigilant… then the flashbacks and nightmares started."

• "I've been in therapy and on medication for over 10 years—healing is a long journey."

• "Self-advocacy matters. Trust your gut. If a diagnosis doesn't fit, keep asking questions."

Notable quotes (Diana)

• "Hey there, fearfully and wonderfully made humans."

• "We're never going to receive 100% healing on this side of Earth… If we did, I would not need Jesus Christ as my Savior."

• "Sometimes we chase the healing… and that becomes an idol."

• "Every human is raised by a village—and if the village has unhealthy dynamics, it's going to affect you."

• "You gotta get into the Word. Yourself. Not just what someone else says."

• "I have a hundred tools. I don't know which will work for you—I'm here as a guide."

• "Turn off that rectangle that's wrecking people. Be still and know… journal what comes up."

• "Be a curious observer of yourself—without shame."

• "Please trust in the Lord, guard your heart, and renew your mind."

Links & resources mentioned Connect with Anna

• Instagram — @iambraveandfree: https://www.instagram.com/iambraveandfree

• Coaching w/ Anna (abuse-recovery & post-traumatic growth): https://braveandfree.co/trauma-coaching

• Rediscovering Yourself After Abuse (e-workbook): https://braveandfree.co/rediscoveringyourself

CPTSD education & community

• Healing & CPTSD Community Hub: https://www.healingandcptsd.com/

• Free CPTSD Awareness Kit (The Healing & CPTSD Foundation): https://www.healingandcptsd.com/free-guides

DV identification & safety

• Power & Control Wheel (Duluth Model): https://www.theduluthmodel.org/wheels/understanding-power-control-wheel/ PDF: https://www.theduluthmodel.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/PowerandControl.pdf

• The Hotline (U.S., 24/7): https://www.thehotline.org/ | Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) | Text START to 88788

• UAE help & reporting (includes helplines like DFWAC 800-111): https://gulfnews.com/living-in-uae/safety-security/how-to-report-domestic-violence-in-the-uae-and-get-help-1.500207174 Official UAE emergency guidance: https://u.ae/en/information-and-services/justice-safety-and-the-law/handling-emergencies

• Dubai Foundation for Women & Children (DFWAC): https://findahelpline.com/countries/ae/du/topics/abuse-domestic-violence

• Maitri (culturally-specific support for South Asian survivors, U.S.): https://maitri.org/

Books we referenced

• The Body Keeps the Score — Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/313183/the-body-keeps-the-score-by-bessel-van-der-kolk-md/

• Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving — Pete Walker (incl. 13 Steps for Managing Flashbacks): https://pete-walker.com/complex_ptsd_book.html | https://www.pete-walker.com/13StepsManageFlashbacks.htm

• Twisted Scriptures: Breaking Free from Churches That Abuse — Mary Alice Chrnalogar: https://www.amazon.com/Twisted-Scriptures-Mary-Alice-Chrnalogar/dp/0310234085

Related episodes on this theme

• Ep 10 — Overcoming Domestic Violence: Biblical, Christian & Secular Counseling (Dr. Johnson)

• Ep 58 — Exposing Abuse in the Church (Rebecca Davis)

• Ep 66 — Escaping Spiritual Abuse & Church Trauma (Sowania Germain)

• Ep 90 — Christian Spiritual Abuse & Recovery (Naghmeh Abedini Panahi)

Safety note

If you're in immediate danger, call local emergency services. In the U.S., contact The Hotline 24/7: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) | thehotline.org | text START to 88788. In the UAE, DFWAC 800-111 and the official channels above can help. You are not alone.