"No Bad Parts"? IFS, CPTSD, Faith & Deep Healing

Hello there. Fearfully and wonderfully made human. Have you ever understood your patterns intellectually but still felt emotionally stuck? Maybe one part of you wants connection while another part wants to shut down. Maybe one part of you is highly capable and high functioning while another part feels anxious, exhausted, overwhelmed, or unseen.

What if healing is less about fixing yourself and more about understanding the parts of you that learned how to survive? Welcome back to the Holistic Counselor Podcast, where I hope faith, science, and holistic mental health come together to explore what it really means to heal, grow, and become whole.

I'm your host Diana S. Rice, licensed mental health counselor and certified integrative mental health professional, founder of Through the Valley Therapy and Transform Mind Consulting and Coaching. And today's conversation is one I've genuinely been looking forward to for a while, probably January, February, March, April, May, like four or five months.

Over the past couple of years, I've personally gone down a bit of a IFS rabbit hole. Reading the books, exploring the model, working with an IFS therapist myself, and becoming increasingly fascinated by how internal family systems helps us understand the different parts of ourselves with greater compassion and curiosity.

And honestly, one of the hardest ideas for me to wrestle with as a follower of Jesus was this concept that there are no bad parts. Because many of us were raised believing that parts of ourselves were simply bad, shameful, broken, full of sin or needed to be suppressed.

But what if some of those parts were actually trying to protect us the only way they knew how? That question alone completely shifted the way I began thinking about trauma, relationships, coping patterns, and even spiritual growth. In fact, I wrote a blog called Is Internal Family Systems Biblical?

A Christian therapist's honest perspective on parts work, and I'll make sure it's in the show notes. And that's why I'm so excited about today's guest. Joining me today is Lynn Kernney, a licensed marriage and family therapist practicing in California and Florida with more than two decades of experience helping individuals and couples navigate trauma, relationships, emotional healing, and personal growth.

Lynn is a certified internal family systems therapist and somatic IFS practitioner specializing in relational trauma-informed and body oriented approaches to healing. Her background includes training in emotionally focused therapy, brain spotting, mindfulness practices, cognitive behavioral therapy, depth psychology, and intimacy from the inside out.

She also brings strong cross-cultural awareness and sensitivity into her work. In addition to her private practice, Lynn spent eight years teaching at Kaiser Permanente, offering courses in couples communication and as well as mindbody medicine and stress management. She is also a Gottman Institute educator for the seven principles for making marriage work.

As always, I come prepared with questions, but the best conversations tend to unfold naturally. So, wherever today's dialogue leads, my hope is that you leave feeling more seen, more informed, and maybe even a little more compassionate toward yourself and your own story. And if conversations like this resonate with you, one of the best ways you can support the podcast is by subscribing, sharing this episode, or leaving a review.

So Lynn, thank you so much for being here today and I'm really looking forward to this conversation. Welcome.

Good morning Diana. Thank you so much for that beautiful introduction and how you spoke about IFS.

Oh yeah. I mean like I've really been so interested and and I I've seen people on both especially because I'm a I'm a Christian counselor in the state of Florida, right? Private practice. And so I realized like now I see people like part is talking when they're like either downgrading it or they're thinking it's the end all and beall of all modalities too, right?

So but what drew you into becoming a therapist and what moment made you realize IFS internal family systems was a modality modality that allowed people to heal deeply rather than just cope.

Two great questions. So the first one, what drew me to be a therapist? I was out of college and I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I knew it had something to do with healing. Um, and so I was checking out graduate schools and I sat in on a class and it was an instructor working with a student and they were doing a mock therapy session.

I remember this,

right? And it blew me away because it's a mock therapy session, but it usually gets pretty real quickly.

And I just could not believe that people were talking with that vulnerability, about emotions that deeply, about family dynamics. Like that was the first I even heard people speak at that level. And at that moment, I was like, that's what I want to do.

But of course, I had to do a whole lot of work on myself first. So, I got myself into therapy and did many years of therapy while I was training, too.

I like to hear that, Lynn, because I think that's sometimes what's missing with some practitioners because I have all sorts of people listening to this podcast, right? Not just like uh people that are not in our field, but I have interns listening and just all sorts of human beings, you know, that are intrigued by what we say here on the podcast.

And and that's one thing, too, as a supervisor. Are you a supervisor too?

I'm not. I haven't chosen route. Yeah.

No. But you get it though as as we are been in this industry for a long long time. Like sometimes that's what's miss like you could tell with some you know that I know my school made us we had to go to therapy.

Like that was something for us to graduate. They made us do at least six months of therapy for us to graduate.

Did yours too?

Um uh yes. It was it wasn't required. it was um encouraged and I think a lot of programs are like that unfortunately I think it should be required all have our blind spots right

what I know is before I really did work on myself I was wanting to fix people like I know better

and I I'm going to tell you what you need to do things better [clears throat]

which is completely against really what good therapy is Yes,

I did my work and I found my blind spots and I healed a lot of my vulnerabilities, my wounds, then I could come in with an open heart and less of an agenda.

I

Yeah, less of an agenda, less of a, you know, I I think I I remember coming out of school and it was very like you didn't want to mess anything up, right?

And then you have the insurance model that you had to learn that too at the same time the DSA and and so it was just became so like I don't want to hurt any because that pressure right first do no harm but also like we are able to baker act or I don't know what it's in California called

I'm sorry

Baker act is that

uh 5150 or whatever like the hold the

Oh I see. Yeah.

Yeah. So all of thoseations and you had all that in your head of

child abuse reporting and

gosh and like worrying about all that rather than just being a practitioner. Yeah.

Yes. Yes. So, so why IFS internal family systems because all the modalities that I learned IFS wasn't even there 20ome years ago when you know it was the basic like psychonamic Freud uh Carl Young um Carl Rogers and then CBT

right and then you graduate and then you learn there's more out there and more are being developed and then you're going okay now which way do we go here IFS like I said I've been in it now for a couple of years now really doing the deep dive and learning and I'm not certified but I understand it to a place and I tell my clients like these are one of the many modalities that we're going to figure out on how to help you.

Yeah.

So tell me you're certified. I love talking to a very s certified I had Dr. Tori Olds in another episode so she was my other IFS but you're my second one that really can do the deep dive. Why IS?

All righty. Yeah. I had been in private practice about 15 years and I wanted to figure out like what was new and exciting in the field. What was I missing? What was happening

and so that's when I found IFS. I went on a search and I listened to Dick Schwarz who developed this and I realized it was very similar to what I had been doing in my office, but I was using like a 2D two-dimensional paper map and he was offering a 3D GPS model of how to heal the psyche of how the psyche worked.

It was so detailed and just clear techniques about how to really access that authentic self energy

um that core essence of us and then bring that to heal um our wounds.

So how do you

for me? Yeah.

Yeah. So, how do you explain it to just someone say like, you know, there's a someone that's coming in or if you're trying to explain it because I know I try to explain it and then I send them videos of Dr. Richard Schwarz and and just other practitioners that that this is their modality of that to go to, you know, to for them to understand it.

How do you explain it to um to to new like to to new people and how would you describe it in simple terms? It it is hard to describe in simple terms because it's very experiential. You get it when you're doing it, right?

Yes. So, we all have that authentic self inside, that calm, clear, compassionate capital S self that we're born with. However, we don't always sense it. And that's because we have a lot of parts. And these parts were developed to try to help this self move through the world to interact with people, deal deal with day-to-day situations.

It's kind of like the sun and clouds. The sun is always there, but the clouds are there sometimes and so you can't really sense the sun. And so there are three types of parts. The first type of part are called exiles.

And what they do is hold all of our stressful even traumatic times, all the feelings, all the memories, all the beliefs about ourselves because of the stressful times and they tuck them away, they vault them away so that they don't inundate us and we can just move through our day life day-to-day life functioning.

So they help us by uh keeping all that at bay. The second type are firefighters. And what happens is when that stuff gets activated anyway, like when something in the world reminds us of a trauma or a stressful time, an embarrassing moment, all those feelings come flooding out and overwhelm us.

And so then the second type of part, the firefighters come rushing in and they help soothe us or distract us and try to get those feelings tucked back as quickly as possible, but they often overdo it. So these parts that make us overeat, over drink, overwork, over sex, over shop, one of my favorites, um all the things, you know, to distract us and calm us down.

Um but they can overdo it. And then the third type of part are managers. And what they do is try to make sure that stuff doesn't happen ever again. So they work to learn from mistakes. They try to organize our environment to make sure that everything's going to run smoothly and we don't run into that again.

So I can give you an example about my own system and how these cards show up. Mhm.

So, I have um performance anxiety. I have public speaking anxiety. And so, I'm noticing my heart uh a little jumpy. I'm a little jittery. You can probably hear it in my voice. Um so, parts show up in our body. And so, those would be my parts that are a little nervous right now.

And in IFS, what we do is track it back, trace it back to when that first showed up. And so I can trace it back to like in third grade I had to speak in front of the class and some of these boys teased me and it wasn't a big thing.

I'm guessing nobody even noticed but boy did it hit deeply. And it hit deeply because even further back than that when I was really little, my family is awesome now. We've done lots of healing, lots of growing. They're fantastic. But back then it was really clear I got the message that things went a lot better if I was very quiet and very compliant.

If I just kept to myself and didn't speak up. And so other parts knew I was loved, cared for, celebrated all the things. But this part held those feelings that went really deep. Oh, I must not be worth listening to. I better not speak up.

Um, there's something shameful about what I have to say. Things like that. It can go really deep quickly. Um, and so those would be the exiles holding all the painful stuff. And then I noticed yesterday when I was preparing for this that I would find myself in the kitchen every 20 minutes looking in the refrigerator, you know, gazing off and not even knowing what I was doing there.

And so those were my firefighters trying to distract me from all that anxiety and um maybe soothe with food. Um, and then I also have firefighters that will blank me out. Like they'll just try to like shut my whole brain down so I don't feel anxious.

Um, and so that can happen. And then and so those are the firefighters. And then the third type, the managers that are proactive,

they had me preparing. And so they were wonderful. Like I prepared all the questions. I even made notes with like color-coded tabs in case I did blank out because they know I might blank out. So, I need something to anchor to.

Yeah.

So, my wonderful managers help me with that.

Right.

But because I've done a lot of work on myself. Yeah. I'm nervous. Yeah. I found myself in the kitchen, but I slept really well last night. I didn't overeat. And what I ate was really healthy food. Um, my apartment isn't a disaster, nor is it so clean because I totally avoided preparing for this things like that.

So, in the past it would have been much worse, but now I'm a little nervous. It's not that bad.

Yeah. And that makes sense because I could sit here and talk about all my exiles and and it is it's and I remember back in like when you do the work and you start looking instead of because you know my manager will come in and be like, "No, you can't cry.

No, you can't do this. No, you know, come on. We don't there's no, you know, especially in my culture, it was like training at a very young age. You can't feel the emotions, right? And so what do you do? Or yeah, you put him over there or you get angry like that anger part of me like I realize like I have to Okay, I'm getting angry and and what do you need at this moment?

How do we get back to the eight C's?

Yeah, that's right. By eight C's, can I go into that

please? Because I want people to remember if someone's listening and it sounds weird to them, it does like a lot of people that are learning this modality and now it's becoming more and more popular. You know, I I I want people to understand, especially those that are in, how would I put it?

Because it's like no bad parts. I I heard this debate with Christian therapists and I'm like I think you're misunderstanding the whole IFS because it's not telling us that that you know all of us are capable of doing harmful things,

awful things.

Awful. Okay, we are human beings. We've seen it. We've seen it in the media. We're seeing it in our world. And the eight C's to me is the true essence of our the Holy Spirit inside of us that God created in that love that he created us in because to me when I'm thinking God is love then why would we be so hateful to us ourselves

right so what you're describing in terms of IFS is between self that has all those eight C's and I'm just going to run through them

yes please

I can never remember all of them.

So coming from our authentic core self, the qualities that we experience are curiosity, clarity, compassion, connection, calmness, confidence, courage, and creativity. And they're also five Ps. Uh presence, perspective, playfulness, patience, and persistence. Like so all the good stuff that all the spiritual traditions really are working to get to,

right? We [clears throat] can also do horrible things as human parts. So when he says there are no bad parts, what he's saying is instead of trying to get rid of the parts, all of these parts were put into place trying their their intention was good.

They were trying to protect us from feeling shame, terror, horror, whatever the awfulness that was happening around us. So, they were put into place originally to try to protect us. However, after a while, they haven't been updated and they're still doing that stuff that maybe was useful when we were, you know, 18 months old, but when we're 30 years old, it looks very different and it shows up very differently.

So, the way to work with it is instead of shutting it out because it often comes back with a vengeance that way.

Yes.

Right. Mhm.

bring curiosity. You get to know, well, what is that part trying to do? And you hear what's happening for the part, what their intention is. Well, I'm just trying not to feel shame. I'm just trying not to feel hurt and rejected or abandoned.

And so then you can say, well, what if we helped with those feelings and healed them? How would that be? Well, then I wouldn't have to work so hard. I wouldn't have to rage. I wouldn't have to go out in the world and do what I'm doing.

And

that's a way then to heal what's underneath it. So then the part settles down.

Yeah. Well, I mean this makes sense to me and I know anyone that's like a real theologian because I'm not, right? I read my Bible and that's and that is the the spirit like you said. There's great a lot of different spiritual uh walks in this world.

This is the one that I have chosen to focus on. And to me though, like there's father, son, holy spirit, three in one. Aren't those three different parts in one? You know, but that's God like to in my in my faith tradition, right?

I I want to make Yeah. You see what I mean? I'm not disrespecting, but I'm that right there when I was like, "Wait a minute, Lord." In my my own prayer time, I'm like, "Yeah, I pray in the Father, Son, Holy Spirit." Like, "Oh my goodness, but you're one entity."

And if we're made in your image, this is starting to make more sense to me, IFS, you know, and and how do we calm ourselves, especially in this world that's losing itself in in so many different areas? We social media, the television, the news, whatever it is, like we h we have such a um high anxiety and depression, like these symptoms that are happening and people are searching for healing all over the place.

And you're right, like there's a lot of different people's parts that are in the in the addiction or in the in the really bad places of the internet. And and for us as practitioners, it's not that we're telling you this is your part and and you have dissociative identity disorder because that's another thing that people try to.

Do you see what I mean? Did or multiple personalities disordered back in the day. How you know, oh my gosh. So you're telling and I'm like, no, do not go on the flipping Tik Tok rabbit hole.

Yes. So what you're bringing up is a lot of people say, wait a minute, you're saying we have different parts and I'm I'm experiencing them. I'm starting to feel it. Does that mean I have dissociative identity disorder? Am I multiple personality? And so the answer from an IFS perspective is absolutely not.

There is such a thing, but that is like way way way down the extreme of a whole continuum. But in the healthy arena, we do have these multiple parts that help us move through the world. Um, but our essence though is self. Um, and so we can move in and out of all of those in a very healthy way.

And the more we're aware of them, aware of them and what's happening, the more harmony we feel inside and we feel a little less um multiple. Yeah.

Yes.

And I also think what happens is many, you know, many have said, well, this just goes into you being more selfish. you see and I'm like no this gives us vocabulary to have the understanding in order to give you like the your self-education because to me my spiritual walk has gone stronger understanding what's coming up instead of shaming it and guilting it and going see you're just a sinful you know because I grew up Catholic and

I was raised you know and then I went into Southern Baptist world and I'm not putting any denomination now denomination down at you know, it's just it actually made me more responsible for me.

That's what I find in my own personal therapy work doing IFS, but especially with my clients, is when they've done the work and they've healed the parts, there is that openhearted energy and there's much more room for people to come forward and relate with compassion and understanding.

They're much more motivated to volunteer or help out or they're much more able to see other people more clearly instead of being caught up in the drama that's happening inside.

Yeah, I love that. I love that. So, you know, for those navigating complex trauma, you know, and what makes CPTTSD, which is complex PTSD, different from single incident trauma and why does IFS often help people who have spent years in therapy but still feel s stuck because really, you know, I I get quite a few clients that have spent years in therapy and they've never Sometimes I'm like, well, maybe their their parts were not ready yet for that but what would you say?

Right. So PTSD is different from complex PTSD in that um PTSD itself is about a single usually about a single incident trauma and it brings up the symptoms of hyper vigilance um of flashbacks avoidance things like that.

And then complex PTSD is when there's been repeated persistence persistent traumas and that's often like uh childhood childhood abuse um where it's often repeated um and so they people with CPTTSD deal with the hypervigilance the the hyperarousal avoidance flashbacks but then they also have to deal with um usually persistent negative selfimage.

Um really difficult time with interpersonal relationships. Um what else? Um and then um just feeling bad about themselves chronically.

Yeah. Yeah.

A lot of traditional modalities just try to work with symptoms. So, it's about symptom relief. It's about skill building, but IFS works um to heal the wounds that are underneath it. And so, with that severe kind of trauma, there are a lot of wounds.

And so, it's not a short-term process, but it does bring relief. And even just understanding what's happening inside, that's why I'm reacting so strongly. Oh, and making those connections uh and bringing awareness to your own system can bring tremendous amount of relief, but then we work to heal those and unburden what's uh the wounds that are being carried so that there's a lot more space inside and harmony.

And so when you say unbburden, I hear that a lot in a lot of the IFS videos. Can you explain that a little more about like what you're meaning? Because, you know, I know the first probably I would say few sessions unless the the client really wants to go in and work, you know, super hard at at right away because it's it's something new like with therapy, you know, sometimes it takes three to nine sessions for someone to finally feel the relief, honestly.

Yeah, it is a little bit of a longer term practice, but it depends um on the person,

right? But I'll give you an example of what kind of the steps might look like.

And this is just kind of a madeup example. So, let's say a woman, we'll call her Donna, comes to see me because she's having a lot more arguments with her partner. Um, she's getting impatient and agitated with him because he's coming home late and he doesn't seem as interested.

And so what I would do is have her focus on her body and see what's happening inside when she's talking about this situation because our parts really show up mostly in our bodies and that's the quickest and most effective way to access them.

And so we would bring lots of curiosity there. And so she might notice a tightness in her belly when she talks about it. And so we would get curious about that and find out more about that. And eventually I would ask her something like,"Well, if your stomach could talk, what would it want you to know about it?"

And she might say, you know, after a bit, after some questioning, well, he must not love me anymore. If he's not coming home in time, it must be because he doesn't want to be with me and he doesn't love me anymore. And so maybe that's true, but it's probably not, right?

But that part will go there. And so because it's probably not true, we can work with the part and trace it back to the first time it felt those feelings. Um, and it might be a memory of like when she was in second grade and her dad remarried

and he had less time for her and so she felt less loved. She didn't have his attention anymore. And so she had some beliefs then that got stuck in a part that I'm not lovable. And so her husband's actions activated all of that.

So then what we would do is help her access this authentic self energy, this calm, clear, compassionate energy, and bring it into dialogue with that 8-year-old part, the part that feels unloved. So it can now be updated and realize, wait a minute, the thing with dad's no longer happening, and I have this adult self.

I don't feel so alone. I have the connection and love I need from this energy. And what we would do is then help the eight-year-old. Uh first we would witness all that this part is carrying with compassion and understanding and then help release it to one of the elements, earth, water, wind, fire or something else.

Blow it up, whatever the part wants to do.

Yeah.

Right. So the energy can be transformed.

And when that's transformed, there's so much more room in her system. So then she can come to the dialogue with her husband um without carrying that fault line of woundedness,

right,

about the current situation. And so she might be a lot more calm and clearheaded and he might not get so defensive because the intensity is much lower. Does that make

Yes. No. Because I've heard two things communication and witnessing.

It is us therapists trying to you know people come to us because we have studied these things right we've studied and understood and done our own work with our own personal experience not just the education and the witnessing that's what I see a lot of the healing in my practice is people come in and I'm not there to judge them right we're not here to judge them we're not here we're giving them a safe container a

safe space in order for when this part comes up and then all of a sudden I I've seen this before.

The the part will come up and then the manager just comes in and just shames the crap out of that poor exile.

We're not judging them, but they might have inner parts that are judging them like crazy. Like inner can be so loud.

And having the witness, which would be us as therapists, to sit there and go, "Hey, wait a second. Why did you just do that to her?

Yeah, that's right. That's right. What's happening that you felt you needed to silence her with shame, right?

Yeah. It's amazing.

It is amazing work. this IFS I'm just still fascinated by it as I continue to learn and understand and be like oh I don't know Lynn if you now see human beings in your family like without doing therapy or anything like my husband and I'm like I'll sit there quietly and going I wonder what part that is coming up right that is kind of like the first round that you might feel but after you've done like

a whole lot of work then you can approach with more compassion and patience like oh I know that part of me and a I wonder if he's struggling with feeling I don't know in inadequate at work and maybe I can just bring some curiosity there.

So it opens up a lot more ability to respond rather than react.

I love that and this is something I I I tell clients a lot. I'm like you're here to learn how to respond in wisdom and not react in emotion.

Yeah. Yeah. So we want stuff coming and looping through the neoortex rather than coming right from the lyic system which is reflexive and quick and usually not our best stuff.

No. Exactly. And then if it does happen, how do we still have compassion for ourselves and ask for forgiveness and take accountability?

That's right. We need to pause, take a deep breath, and say, "Hey, I'm human, too. What was happening there? or what got activated in me that I lost it.

Yeah. So, we're just going to shift a little bit because I'm seeing a lot of concerning trends in therapy culture today from performative social media therapy to quick fix approaches. Since you've been doing this for a while and you you've been a professor, what grounding principles should therapists return to so we stay aligned with do no harm and remain effective?

Yeah. And so what I have um when I talk with interns, if they're talking with me, what I let them know is first and foremost they need to do their homework. They need to get licensed. They need to get credentials. They have to go through all the training and get experience.

But then the most important thing is that they do their own work. We all do have our own blind spots. And so it's really important we get to know our own system and to be able to recognize when we're getting activated by something that's happening with our client.

Yeah.

So that we can go get some cons consultation or get some help from other therapists um and work do our work. Yeah,

that's what I tell people how to stay grounded,

right? It's just to to figure out why you are in the field and even though you might have learned a lot of stuff in the halls of university, it's dealing with the real human being that each one is a thumbrint.

Yeah. Each person is so different and individual. Like there's a lot of ways where we have lots of similar um qualities. Like most of us have an inner critic. Um most of us are pretty hard on ourselves,

but it shows up in like such individual flavors, right?

Yeah.

So interesting about this work is like finding out like, well, what is it about you that's different and fascinating?

Yeah. Yeah. And I think what you what you said spot on is to understand your blind spot and when counter transference is showing up in therapy because sometimes you could do more harm than than good. I've seen I've seen some stuff and I'm just like oh my goodness like I hope you go get the help you need before you try to go help somebody else.

That's right. by counter transfer transference. It's a clinical term, right? I like something's happening in the client and I realize my stuff is getting activated. And so it's my job to be able to recognize and not just see the other person, but say, "Ah, something's going on about me.

I'm going to tuck that aside so that I can stay present with her. And then later, I'm going to go to my therapist and get some work done on it."

Yeah. No, it's so important. so important. So for listeners from faith communities or the black indigenous people of color backgrounds who may have had complicated or painful experiences with therapy, which I know many, how do you use sematic IFS in a way that honors culture, identity, and spirituality?

That's such a great question and I believe that that's a huge strength of IFS and somatic IFS because it has such a strong commitment to not pathizing differences. Um meaning it looks at cultural differences not as wrong but as interesting and what makes a person individual.

So instead with IFS, we bring curiosity and compassion to those parts that are shaped by cultural trauma or shaming rather than imposing a specific worldview or bringing judgment. And so what some of that might look like is like if I'm working with a person um that's a different race or a different cultural background, I might just openly ask like how is that between us?

Like there is naturally a power imbalance. I'm a clinician and you're the client showing up. How are you experiencing the relationship? Is there anything I need to do to make you feel more comfortable? Um do you have any concerns? Is there anything I need to learn further to um be more educated to be able to help you?

Um then also um I bring a lot of curiosity about their cultural experiences or their experiences of their faith um and find out like what kind of legacy burdens that they're carrying because of racism uh colorism um issues about uh religious um persecution or judgement.

Um, and that can be personal. All of that racism, etc. can be personal, but it can also be generational or cultural. You can like take that in and hold it in our nervous systems like from the entire culture. And so what IFS does is drop down to the body level and see how it has been impacting how you are holding all that stuff without maybe realizing it, right?

and then help release it and heal it. Um, IFS also recognizes that we're not just one identity. Like our identities are formed by by race and ethnicity and gender and sexual orientation and our faith and on and on. And so we're all very complex internal systems.

And so it's important to respect all that and bring curiosity there to find out how it's showing up.

I love that. I love that because it's so it's true like having a human being in front of you and trying to understand it instead of putting it in a the the human in the box and saying this is and this is something that I really think is super important for anyone intern or anyone that's wanting to come into the field.

You have to do your own work of understanding that too, your cultural competency. I remember when we first talked, I asked you some questions and the way you answered, I'm like, "Oh, she gets it." Because there's many in the field that don't still.

And then they're trying to practice with a person of of a different culture, you know, you know, someone like for example, for me, right, I had to try to find a a very good counsel that understood that I'm second generation here. So my identity was very hard at home because you know I'm American.

I was born here. At home it's a whole different culture.

Right. So you're straddling both and holding both in your system and both is impacting how you respond to the world. Right.

Yeah.

Both need to be respected and understood.

Yeah. And so for you to you know with IFS I love that.

Can you just explain a little of the sematic part because sematic I have clients that ask me that too and I'm like it's your central nervous system and it's trying you know you're holding on and we have to move it through because if you don't move it through logically you know like you have to do A B CDE E F G whatever you can keep going you know but your body though and you're it's holding on to some stuff and you got to learn how to express it in a healthy way.

Yeah. So, so somatic IFS I I love it because it really recognize it recognizes that we are a sacred vessel that our bodies do hold this stuff and our parts show up in our bodies. So when we get that clenched belly or our breathing is shallow, those are generally um parts that are trying to communicate with us.

And if we settle down and listen to what messages they're trying to say, um, they settle down. Often people are worried that it might get bigger or take over. But actually, if we really bring some curiosity there, those symptoms settle down and we can understand, oh, wait a minute. what that person just said actually crossed one of my boundaries and I really need to speak up for myself.

So, it's wisdom and uh often wisdom. Sometimes it's not bringing wisdom. Um but it's often wisdom that we can pay attention to and ground into.

Yeah.

Yeah. So, how do you settle people down seatally then? Like what is it? What are your modalities that you utilize? because I mean I know what I do and I didn't know that you know I'm like I said I'm not a certified IFS practitioner but because I learn and I try and and I have you see you know cognitive behavioral therapy is my thing it's like I bring the part up and then I challenge their thoughts and then because I

right so it's like grasp it's eclectic it's like grasping what is needed at the time for that human because sometimes it's just trying to get them to calm their soul down,

right? Well, what I find is that often what a person does inside is like they notice they're starting to get panicky. So, they try to think of all the reasons why they shouldn't be panicky and just quiet that down. Um, but what happens is it ends up starting a polarization inside.

So, one part is trying to get activated and trying you to get you to do something, take action, speak up, something, and another part is saying, "No, settle down, settle down, settle down." So, you've got one foot on the gas, one foot on the brake, and your whole system then starts to shimmy.

Um, so instead what I do with IFS is listen to each side so that each side feels heard because they both have valuable things to say like, yeah, I might need to take action in the world. That's probably a good idea. Um, but also I need to do it from a calm place.

And so it makes sense to settle my nervous system. And so actually just listening to what's happening to the body, what's happening on each side actually settles both sides down and then you can access a lot more of that authentic self energy.

Yeah. Okay, that sounds good. Do you know of any uh resources or do you do you give resources out to your clients or you know or how how if somebody wants to work with you? How can they work with you?

Um let's see. Um generally if somebody's looking for IFS I send them to the IFS institute website and find a practitioner there. If they want to work with me, they're absolutely welcome to email me at lindjkarnneygmail.com or can look me up at the IFS Institute website.

They can find

um let's see. I wanted to give you though, you said like what kinds of things can you offer them? What I think might be useful is to offer some ideas of how to just by yourself access more of that self energy. And so what I might say to that is um just slow down first.

If you notice you're hurrying, if you're rushing, that's usually an indication that a parts like trying to be very vigilant, very careful, trying to get all the things done. If you take a breath, lean back, slow down, then your system can settle a little bit, and then you might have an opportunity to come from that centered place, and then it goes a lot better.

So, they tell us in when we're being trained for IFS, um, if you notice you're leaning into the screen or really leaning into the person, there's a good chance you're coming from apart. If you notice you're like sitting back, you're calm, you're breathing slowly, that's an indication that you're probably coming from more self- energy.

And so just leaning back can help remind you.

Oh, I better lean back then because I guess my manager's been showing up this.

She's helping out. Let's see. also like just bringing awareness to your body, smiling and just notice what's happening physically can help ground you and settle you down. Spending time in nature, of course, always like bringing you to your senses. What are you smelling?

What are you seeing? What are you even tasting? Um what are you feeling against your skin? that can help bring the peace and presence because that peace, presence, love, that authentic self is there already. And you can just think about like turning the volume up of it and almost as sometimes the idea of like being the sun in your heart and allowing it just to radiate can um help shift.

I love that. Yeah, because we're retraining the brain because you know that's the thing too like with IFS I see how neuroplasticity works along with that.

It's fascinating.

It's absolutely rewiring the brain because we have our usual uh automatic ways of reacting to things and this is about kind of finding new pathways and responding in a very different way.

Yeah. So, you know, I'm honored that this is your first podcast conversation, Lynn, honestly. And I'd love to end with this. What words of encouragement would you offer to someone beginning their healing journey, especially someone who feels scared, stuck, or unsure if deeper work is even possible for them?

Yeah, you know, it can be daunting like I don't know where to start. I'm not sure what's inside. Not sure I want to go there. And so I would say, you know, therapy might bring some like temporary discomfort, but if you're with the right person, it shouldn't flood you.

You shouldn't have to relive things. Um, good therapy results in relief and understanding what's happening inside. And so that brings more calm and clarity and perspective, that ability, as we've been talking about, to respond rather than to react. It helps you get closer to who you are when you're just feeling good.

When you're calm, settled, and confident, you get more and more of that. Um, and so if you're with the right person, the right therapist, um, you should start feeling that really quickly.

Yeah. Well, I I guess now that I said that might be the last question, but I want to know how do we know how how would a person know that they're with the right therapist or what question do you know what questions they should ask?

Because to me, I know what I tell people cuz a lot of people reach out now that I have this podcast and they're like, I want to work with you. I'm like, sorry, I'm only licensed in Florida and I only could take clients in Florida.

Right. You're in California and Florida, correct? So she

Yeah, I'm licensed in California and I have an agreement with the state of Florida that I can see Flidians.

Okay. Okay. So, but you're in Cali.

Oh, yeah. My practice is in California and I in Florida.

Okay. Okay. All right. So, do you have a office in Florida? Like, do you see people in live like in an office or just online

these days?

You're what?

I'm all online these days.

Okay. So, am I?

Well, so that's the thing like how do we how do like how do we end this conversation by encouraging someone like to go do their work and how to check out like to me I'm like go on psychology today and put in your insurance because I don't take insurance put in your insurance and and look at IFS because you could click everything you're needing male female Christian Buddhist whatever like you could do all the things and

you could look at different people and most people do a free consultation like I I would say that I would ask questions like like what like

well I would well certainly you kind of do your due diligence make sure they're licensed their credential their experience because I certainly know I was a much better therapist after I had a number of years of experience under my belt right but you can also and I would certainly the most important thing is trust your gut like you feel defensive or judged or you notice your hackles up, maybe it's not the fit for you.

If you notice you're starting to settle down, you're calm, you're opening, you feel safe with the person, I would trust those as indicators. But you can also ask the person about their own healing journey. Have they done their own work? Because for me, I think that's a really critical um factor to find the right person.

If they've done their own work, if they've had their own healing journey, it's there's m it's much more likely that they've worked with their blind spots.

Yeah, I love that. And you can ask about modality if you care about that. Most people just want relief. So, they're just they're just trust. And this is it with all medical fields because to me, like I had to go through a few gynecologist before I found one that's going to I want to trust, you know,

for your best friend, but it wasn't a fit for you. And so

you can interview people and make sure you find the right one that fits for you.

Amen. Exactly. Lynn, anything else before we say goodbye?

No. Thank you very much for your curiosity about this and for the conversation.

Yeah. Thank you for being here. And remember listener, if you've lasted this long, I'm so glad you did. And to please trust in the Lord, guard your heart, and renew your mind. Bye.

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