Navigating Grief & Healing: Finding Meaning After Loss - Solo Minisode

hello there fearfully and wonderfully made human thank you for being here today grief grief is unpredictable one moment life feels stable and the next everything sh shifts I have been walking through one of the most challenging seasons of my life after losing my mother on February 6th of this year she spent N9 days in the hospital before coming home under my care after 6 days she chose hospice and just 2 days later she was gone the

speed of it all left me wrestling with both the profound sorrow of losing her and the overwhelming exhaustion of caregiving just before she entered hospice I poured my heart into a blog post called ever been Sid sweep by life Faith resilience and hope in the storms of caregiving and grief writing has been one of my greatest tools for healing today I want to share not only my story but also insights encouragement and some actionable strategies for

navigating grief trauma and transformation because here's the truth we are all going to die that may sound harsh but it's actually an invitation an invitation to live intentionally nurture our mental health Embrace resilience and create a legacy of healing and Faith grief is not just about loss it's about what we choose to do with the life we still have my mom's passing isn't the first loss I've ever endured my father died of cancer 22 years ago

my aunt who was like a mom to me died of Alzheimer's in October of 2020 my half sister passed just 17 months ago from cancer my childhood best friend um her name is Monica died of leukemia when I was nine and I haven't even mentioned all those who have passed in between now and then death has been a part of my story from a young age shaping me in ways I am still processing but grief is

layered my mom and I had a complicated relationship not the kind where mother and daughter were best friends which is what I always wanted instead I've had to navigate not only the grief of losing her but also the grief of my childhood shaped by complex trauma and emotional wounds for years I have worked through what it means to heal from intergenerational trauma to grow Beyond pain and to choose to break Cycles rather than stay stuck in

Old Wounds as someone who has struggled with health anxiety losing multiple people to cancer and other ailments has only heightened my awareness of how fragile life is and this is why I want to use this episode to not just talk about my personal grief but also about how we care for ourselves while we're still here physically emotionally and spiritually throughout my career as a therapist I have worked with countless individuals processing loss grieving parents grieving their

spouses siblings friends and their childhoods walking alongside so many people in their grief has given me a deep understanding of how unique and unpredictable the journey is but even with all of my experience nothing fully prepares you for your own grief two days after my mother passed my friends and family pulled together the most incred incredible memorial service about 70 people came to support my son and me even though I was in a grief fog which

honestly I'm sort of still am I was able to speak and my son son sang his his A's favorite song all she wanted was for people to not make a fuss over her she didn't care what happened to her body and would have been mad to know we even had this memorial for her that was who she was a hardworking No Nonsense minle animalist who came here from the Colombian farmlands for the American dream grief isn't

linear and it doesn't follow a predictable path Elizabeth Kubler Ross introduced the five stages of grief which many people are familiar with but if you're not you know if you've listened to my podcast I like to teach so the first stage remember it's not linear so you could be in and out of them at any time is denial the shock and disbelief that loss has happened anger frustration resentment or questioning why this had to happen bargaining

the if only stage where we wish we could change the past depression the deep sadness and emotional weight of loss acceptance acceptance understanding that life will never be the same but finding a way forward David Kessler later introduced the six stage finding meaning which has resonated with me deeply finding meaning doesn't mean minimizing grief it means using our loss as a catalyst for transformation connection and purpose it's asking how do I honor the human I lost

through the way I live hence why I decided to record this episode for me finding meaning has looked like embracing my faith even more helping others navigate grief and being intentional about how I care for my body and mind grief is painful but it doesn't have to leave us stuck it can be a pathway to deeper healing and growth grief is not just sadness it's an emotional roller coaster it comes in waves sometimes gentle sometimes crashing

down when you least expect it so here's how I've been navigating my own grief for the last couple of weeks allowing the emotions to surface I don't suppress my grief my poor husband I ride the waves even if that means wailing and screaming in the middle of the night or laying down in the middle of the day to stare at the ceiling or even take a nap and believe me if you know me personally I am

not a napper journaling and reflection writing has given me a way to to process my emotions and reflect on the lessons grief is teaching me therapy and support even as a therapist I know I need guidance and a safe space to process this loss and actually all my losses faith and scripture I've been studying the book of Psalms ever since this all started happening so let me see I think I'm on Psalm 24 today was studying

the book of Psalm and uh what's interesting is I use AI as well where I ask for in-depth questions to journal and I spend about 30 minutes with each Psalm every day so far it's really helpful and it just grounds me um prioritizing my health yeah I would love to just go and I did for the first week of my grief I didn't care I just started eating whatever but then I realized oh my goodness like

if I eat all the sugar and processed foods and the chips and everything that I used to do back in the day it's just going to lead me into a path that's going to make it worse so I now am eating the Whole Foods again forcing myself to go at least to walk a mile or two um grounding myself barefooted in the grass and um taking care of my nervous system which have been really crucial saying

yes to my friends even though I feel like saying no so sometimes they ask me to do something and I'm in a sort of a brain fog but I know the importance of community and to get out of bed and out of the house so even if it's for an hour or two I'll go okay I'll go and what's beautiful is that I have some really great friends that understand what I'm going through so that to

me is so important is that they're not expecting anything from me they're just sitting there with me and then accepting the complexities of my relationship with my mother I can hold love and frustration at the same time and that's okay I can be angry that she wasn't able to love me the way I needed and also highly respect her autonomy and resiliency seriously this woman now that I'm looking back but I've always kind of respected that

of her that she was self-reliant but to a fault at the same time you know she was successful but alone at time so it's like getting the good parts right it's trying to find the good parts of those or what lessons they left behind to teach you and then leaving the the things that don't help you and learn from them and do not repeat them so healing doesn't mean forgetting it means finding meaning in the pain

and using it to grow so if you are someone you love is grieving here a few resources that can provide support and guidance here there's some books there's one finding meaning by David Kesler the grief recovery handbook by John W James and Russell Friedman try softer by on D colber and that's for trauma and emotional resilience then there's grief support groups like grief share I have heard numerous wonderful great things I have sent quite a few

clients to their local grief share groups and I know person personally um one of my good friends who actually became a leader in grief share as well and I think I might try it I'm not sure but I think they have online groups and local church counseling groups so and then holistic mental Wellness please please please prioritize Whole Foods movement trauma informed therapy nervous system regulation Stress Management this is so important because you can go into

a spiral and I have seen because remember most people come to counseling because they're in a crisis not for prevention it's for intervention kind of like what we do with westernized medicine anyway right many of us go into doctors or hospitals like the experience I just went through with my mom it was because of intervention instead of prevention and there are ways to prevent things from happening or at least to help you uh ride the waves

of grief because that's it it's like surfing you're surfing these waves because if you don't learn to surf them you're going to drown and I'm trying to help you not drown okay so also therapy and Faith faith-based counseling so if you need guidance in providing and processing the grief or your cptsd or healing seek professional support and when I say professional a licensed therapist please someone that's licensed that understands a bunch of different modalities you know

a holistic counselor that understands the Mind Body and Spirit whatever your faith is because I'm sure you could find it um whatever Faith because I know many people that listen to me are not just Christians so someone that understands the whole thing and doesn't just blame the devil or just blame science or whatever it is like someone that understands that you're a whole unique biology psychology and theology so I would start with Psychology today and you

could go in there and you could take off whatever you want your insurance um know Christianity what kind of counseling where online you know and just read through them and see you know trust your gut instinct of what you need but go get help please and then um there's a podcast that I want to talk about it's listen to this listen to It's called this beautiful ugly still still here now what so this has insights on

healing through faith and mental Wellness about grief so listen I share my story not because my grief is more significant than anyone else's but because in our shared experiences we find connection healing and hope if you're walking through loss I want you to know you're not alone there is light on the other side of the pain grief isn't just about loss it's about transformation it's about choosing to live with purpose to heal with intention and to

create a legacy that aligns with who God has called us to be recording this episode is a way to release reflect and pour hope into those who need it most my faith gives me hope and that hope gives me love that has led me to a place of forgiveness especially for my mommy and papy honoring them now means understanding that they too were unhealed humans doing the best they could with the resources they had I have

worked hard to take the good they left me as their legacy while breaking the unhealthy cycle so they do not continue with me when I think about it and I want to find the positive because honestly wherever your brain goes your energy flows I think Jim quick said that and it's true and we get to choose we get to choose on what we focus on on I could focus on all the pain and all the things

I did not get but I choose to focus on now and the Beauty From the Ashes and what are we going to do we are responsible for ourselves and so we could stay stuck or we can choose to take that one step so on that note as I sit here an orphan weird to say that um and even though I'm in my 50s but it's true my mom and my father are passed on to the other

side but I want to honor them this way even though they might not have been the parents parental units I needed and caused a lot of pain I have forgiven them and I carry my father's Charisma and free spirit and my mother's work ethic and dedication so thank you graas so Mommy and puppy well guys thanks for being here for listening and for walking this journey with me remember to always trust in the Lord guard your

heart and renew your mind bye and now for the disclaimer to make sure you understand that you are responsible for you the content provided on the holistic counselor podcast is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice diagnosis or treatment always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental condition never disregard professional medical

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