Faith, Doubt & Healing: Overcoming Spiritual Crisis

hello fearfully and wonderfully made human it's Diana from through the valley therapy and transformed mind Consulting and coaching welcome back to another episode of the holistic counselor podcast before we dive in I have something to celebrate on February 21st this podcast officially turned one year old I couldn't have done it without the incredible support behind the scenes so I want to take a moment to thank my amazing editor and Publishing coordinator Dorian Duff of firefly Productions

hi Dorian thank you for your dedication and for making each episode come to life now I am beyond excited to introduce today's guest someone who feels like a true kindred spirit Andrea lahood Andrea and I first connected over a year ago at a South Florida clinical Collective networking meeting shout out to venina Hawkman and Amanda basos for creating such a great space from the moment we spoke I knew we had so much in common not just

as clinicians but as integrative mental health providers who deeply honor the Mind Body Spirit connection and most important importantly as followers of Jesus Christ Andrea is a licensed mental health counselor EMDR trained therapist and certified integrative mental health provider bringing a beautifully holistic approach to Healing she specializes in working with women navigating anxiety grief self-esteem challenges life Transitions and relationship difficulties guiding them with trauma informed care CB and motivational interviewing to Foster Real transformation but beyond

our shared passion for holistic mental health we also share Colombian roots oh yeah Andrea is a South Florida native with Lebanese and Colombian Heritage and as someone who's also half Colombian I know firsthand the richness and death that cult that cultural background brings to our work and worldview Andre Blends her bicultural perspective with deep expertise in mental health holding a double major in Psychology and Bible from Colombia International University and a master's degree in clinical counseling

giving her a truly integrative and Faith Center approach to healing but beyond therapy Andrea and I have also supported each other in launching our Consulting and coaching passions because let's be honest we therapists we wear many hats and when she's not empowering clients to turn pain into purpose you can find her exploring new restaurants kickboxing weightlifting traveling and soaking in quality time with loved ones fully embracing the vibrant Soulful life she helps others create Andrea I

am so glad that you are here today welcome to the podcast Diana thank you so much it's an honor a so let's start we're GNA start with the word crisis what actually defines a crisis and why do some people hold on to faith While others Walk Away in a crisis you know when you when I first heard that question I was like man how am I going to answer that I there's it's just so deep but

such a small word and I think I could just sum it up uh very simply just when life knocks you down you know you it's when you least expect something to happen that you thought would never happen um it's um it shakes the foundation of what you think was true um it leaves you scared confused angry sad questioning everything and there's different types of crises right we know as as therapists there could be Health mental a

career family identity and of course faith yeah yeah for sure oh my hold on um sorry about that I thought I turned everything off did you hear that Ding no okay good all right so it's just me all right so anyway um we've both been through challenges in the last couple of months okay like and we're not going to share the challenges but um just so you know that us therapists are human too you know that

um it can make you question your faith for real and can you share a defining moment in your own life where you had to make the choice to stay faithful to God despite everything yeah um honestly it's hard to just pinpoint just one um just to give you a little context just of my life because I think it's just a testimony of God's goodness and keeping me in you know in his love and his faith I

you know grew up with uh you know my parents were divorced when I was four and uh you know they were unable to meet my emotional needs accordingly and their presence was inconsistent in my life growing up and you know there's been Addiction in my family there's been loss in my family multiple losses in a short amount of time um I've dealt with deep disappointment in not being married and not having a spouse at the age

and the time I thought I would and just struggling with loneliness and so uh and toxic relationships I could just go on um but just to give you context to just the different difficulties I've lived through um but what I'm going to share is a time in college where I was literally in Bible School okay and you know you're they require you to go to chapels every day in the middle of your day they do prayer

days where like they take off classes and you have to pray they have well you don't really pray all day but they have like a service and breakout groups and all these activities to Foster this like spiritual you know um space and growth and um and I was going through a really hard time with my family we were having a crisis and I've just been praying for like Breakthrough and healing for you know this family member

and you know I felt like the Lord wasn't responding and it was just like Lord like why are you being like in just like I just felt like it was like an injustice on his part that he wasn't coming through from and I and um it was during like Christmas break I went back home and I I literally uh was so angry with God that I like stopped talking to him stopped going to church stopped doing

the things I kind of gave God the tri the silence treatment right and and so yeah I was just you know home doing my thing and then towards the end of the break you know my grandmother who raised me up in the faith and she's you know has been like a spiritual mom to me and a mom and other aspects too and she um she invited me to go to this church that she had started going

to and um you know multiple invitations and you know I was like okay like I'll go you know just to appease her and you know this church that uh she invited me to they literally like I'm not kidding they're a Hispanic church so you know I don't know if you've been to one but they an hour yeah worshiping and praising God and usually like American churches like 30 minutes 20 minutes with time to go to lunch

exactly with announcements 30 minutes like all right let's wrap up four songs but um no but this church really like they wanted to Foster like a spiritual environment you know to welcome God and whatnot so I was standing right like in a worship service for those of you who don't know like you stand and sing songs to God and I literally like had a posture of I'm not worshiping you because I don't think you deserve to

be worshiped and literally I was my hands were crossed and I was just standing I was respecting right the the service and and the songs and I kid you not I call this a God moment because this was not anything like innately me because I'm sharing my posture was like closed not talking to you not praising you and you know that verse that speaks about like every knee will bow yeah and every tongue will confess every

tongue will confess like whether you confessed or not or believe will or not yeah that happened to me where so they were playing this song I don't know if you know it's called a day I don't know if I want to sing it but um it's the lyrics is like huah oh yes holy anyways really horrible but you're holy yes and then the people that can sing make it and what was really powerful is that they

did it like bilingually or is that I don't know yeah they yeah so the song was English and Spanish at the same time so I'm telling you like it was like ve a very powerful moment because there I was resistant and angry at God and in a posture of like you you don't deserve worship and then that song played and it reached a point where I I like surrendered and I started like I lift up my

hands and I felt God like impress on my heart and you know you hear a lot of Christians say God spoke to me and I think what that means is like when when your thoughts come into your head that are not your thoughts and you know I was not thinking that you know and it's also a feeling it's a feeling that overcomes your body like a like you feel it you feel a a wash over yes

right yes you know and and then all of a sudden you're like what was that what what was that and then you just break down and cry and surrender yes yes that was the moment and I felt God was just telling me like Andrea am I not powerful enough for your situation like do you think that little of me oo wow that's humbling yeah I I felt like God kind of like slapped me in the face

a little bit come on that's that's called discipline yeah yeah and I just remember that you know um that feeling and just surrendering my anger I asked for forgiveness not that like God can't handle my anger but like I was just you know not talking to him about it and not coming to him with it and I was just like my my heart and my spirit and my mind were closed to him because he wasn't answering

the prayer in the time that I wanted and how I wanted it exactly and that's something that I think a lot of us um that follow Jesus Christ and understand the word um we go through that we need to go through that that's actually like job and and understanding um lamentation and Ecclesiastes right like this is God doesn't change he's the same yesterday today and tomorrow it's us that change it's us that evolve it's us that

get stuck right exactly exactly and sorry and sometimes like what God wants to do I read this book on prayer and I'll never forget it but like when God doesn't answer like a prayer request or something that we want to change he wants to do something in us not so much change our c circumstance right so you know uh I know it's you know I don't want it to sound like a Band-Aid and just like a

principal or something to like cover over the pain but really like understanding the complexity like God is so complex and he has such a higher bigger plan that what we think he's just doing more in the Unseen that what we can see well that's the thing we we are finite humans with a brain that's only so big with so much information that could be in it and sometimes that's what happens we human I mean we humanize

God so much that we but it's also why we do it it's to because of fear and so it's easier for us to say oh let's put him in a little box with a beautiful little bow and this is it this is how it is and anyone that goes up past that like nope you are this and we other them exactly yeah yeah and um I'm glad you brought that up because I I was going to

mention that that we we shape God to what we think what We Believe like we have we each have a personal like view of God and I think that when life happens he's shaping us he's teaching us no that's not who I am what you thought is not who I am this is who I am know so how do how do we get there though like this is who I am because sometimes what I've seen you

know I've been walking the Christian Road since 2000 even though I grew up Catholic okay so I always knew who Jesus was like that's something that when you're Catholic or whatever a denomination because honestly I work with so many people that are reconstructing their faith I hate to say deconstructing but they they are they're reconstructing they are disentangling things they're understanding like okay I was born and raised in this church environment but now I'm feeling weird

and off because I am you know this this was another question I was going to ask you like this Exodus from the church it's happening constantly I mean deconstructing faith if you look up the hashtag ex Evangelical I mean I yeah there's that hashtag called ex evangelicals um there's like I've been watching a podcast just because I love learning and it's called the new evangelicals um and and other things because people come to me and I'm

sure this happens to you they're like oh you're a Christian therapist and so but they come in with their view of Christianity and as therapist guess what we have to do we have to sit back and gather the information without putting our views our faith it's you know it's like oh you gonna give me advice no that's not my job is to give you advice what is our job Andrea and and tell me why you think

there's a mass Exodus yeah o um there's just a there's so many like facets to that um question or yeah for that answer but um I think first like the church has become like too transactional and religious so to speak like they see Christianity as a checklist um or people p perceive that like you know different churches do different things and teachings and it's a culture too you know so I think um people feel like they

have to follow a checklist instead of Experiencing God um through you know true relationship and I think that disconnection comes like for from like a lack of True Discipleship and like having somebody walk with them and you know teach them you know this is this is a lifestyle this is a relationship this is not a checklist like you're not a better Christian if you go to church three times a week and you participate in the the

small groups and in the retreat and in the you know whatever activity that they have um so I think that's one like the I guess like the rules or the culture that the church imposes es into the faith and um secondly uh Church hurt is real and you know what do you mean by Church hurt um I hear that a lot yeah religious trauma spiritual trauma and church hurt and I think we should talk about that

a little bit yeah uh you know where people have experienced woundedness by leaders other members in the church that maybe have like like Authority in the church um ated spiritually exposed to false teachings like you know like one of the most like common false teaching is is the Prosperity Gospel right and if you you know I've heard messages like if you bring your tithing to the altar you know God will you know give you this and

multiply there is scripture that tells us that God does you know bless those who give um but they use that to kind of like suck it out of you even more if that makes sense oh no totally yeah um so I think that's how I would summarize Church hurt just like woundedness by a leader by another person and you know relationship I mean God created relationship he is the Trinity that is part of his Essence so

a lot of people equate okay you hurt me you say you're a Christian like they mix it sit with God like God hurt me and they don't they can't distinguish its two different things well a lot of us because if we're not biblically literate which means reading the Bible in context ourselves yes then we believe what what we believe whatever the narrative has been taught to us without like challenging it that's one number two what I've

seen with church her is um like I read this book called The well-trained Wife man that broke my heart I was so angry and I cried and she I don't know I don't know if she's even come back to faith in Christ at all or she's totally but that book was very very enlightening and it it that's like the epitome of church spiritual abuse when when a human being in a leadership position takes the word of

God and B dirs you with it yes for them to manipulate you in in order to get something for themselves not to glorify Jesus Christ right that could be political that could be uh spiritual or like getting the house in order and you know I've seen I literally have seen women come out of churches that have been domestic violence without being punched in the face but everything else which I'm going to put in the show notes

that there is a um Christian version of the duth model for domestic violence and you know it is a it's it's it's the intention of the heart Andrea you just mentioned you know a lot of people know the brain thing okay I'm going to church I'm doing this I'm checklis in that I gave to the alt I gave money I've been volunteering I learned some a word and it really hit home and I was like oh

my gosh like it's pride in in like under service and I was like whoa where PE it's kind of like a community narcissism or you know and I don't want to say like that's the thing if you're listening to this and you are a person that's like see Christians stink and they're Hypocrites well yeah we're human beings this is why we need Jesus exactly exactly exactly and so you know challenging our faith like honestly it is

it's like in the middle of our storms it's like Lord why are you allowing this why think about what Andre and I do and I'm sure you worked with teens so we're going to talk about this little and the stuff that we had we've seen I mean I've seen sex trafficking cases I've seen murder suicides I've seen so much abuse and neglect and then of course our own childhood that we're not going to go into here

but her and I have most therapists or anyone that goes into some kind of psychology or Psychiatry usually it's because something happened in their own family or something that affected them with a friend or something right we've seen some stuff and I know that I've gone to a place Andrea where you're questioning God like or doubting you know or going wait a minute like what the what do you think about that yeah I mean I think

doubt is a natural part of our journey in our faith because I think when we press into the doubt in a like I don't know what the word is but when we're actively working through our doubt and trying to seek God in our doubt and seek answers that strengthens our faith you know uh you know I went to Bible College and we had a philosophy class and our philosophy Professor I literally would one day I would

walk in yeah I believe in God the next day I'm like I don't believe in God does he really exist like the way that he like challenged our thoughts and our like Foundation really helped me like solidify yes okay I believe in God but if doubts don't exist or when we like dismiss doubts and you know that happened to me recently like in my 30s like I I wasn't actively you know coming to God with my

doubts of like okay God I've followed you all my life I've been quote unquote good you know like I was like that the in the prodal story I was the brother like I was serving you Lord I was doing this but like Lord like where is my husband and I didn't want to sound like a cliche christian single Christian woman like I hated that I had so much shame and that's why like I didn't talk about

it I didn't deal with it because I didn't want to be another young woman asking God where's her husband because are they going to say and the Lord's timing right you know like all the cliches that we hear let's talk about the cliches I want to know because honestly I've had quite a few young girls because that's we both work with uh a lot of women you know trying to figure stuff out and so that's something

and I I'm like okay like what what are the cliches I want to make sure so I don't say them yeah um let's see you're gonna have to help me out but you know um and the Lord's timing is a big one you don't have enough Faith yeah you don't have enough Faith or you know the Lord um my gosh what is it another one that they've told me what about the um well keep trusting in

the Lord I mean that's like a given like yeah I'm trusting in the Lord um so what would help what would help in that situation when someone is actually sharing their heart and going you know like I thought by now I would have a husband or you know instead of someone that is Christian come back and you know because every it's kind of with grief like at the same time or just certain things like people don't

know what to do or what to say so they just say anything actually to make themselves feel better or because they just don't and they mean well they do it's like the mean well right they mean well oh this is it or keep serving the lord or like oh my gosh like I'm so jealous like you get to serve the Lord full time you know you know and so which is yeah which is great well what

about the one that and I don't use this in therapy but with some of my friends like girl marriage is hard you're lucky you're single yeah yeah yeah they told me that too and I'm like oh darn like do I really want to I really want this but I guess like I just wanted to be validated in my pain and disappointment you know I obviously like intellectually in my head I know that God is in control

that he has the man for me or or if he doesn't that he'll you know still fulfill me you know but I think I was just wrestling with like okay actually God you created Adam and you said man should not live alone like okay first of all that that's there so you know there is community there is intimacy that we need and like um my needs are my desires aren't like like empty like you've put that

in me so I think just like validating that and like helping me wrestle with it and just like you know I guess I think it just needed to be validated and sit with me in the disappointment a little bit like don't rush don't rush um by care yeah don't rush the like like okay enough let's move for forward and and focus now on like where's your faith at come on you know go if if you believe

this you know and it's also the fine line of when is it like yeah we're going to sit with you and when does it become an idol like what's the fine line of that and so you know and that's easy for me to say I've been married for 30 years and stuff like that but let me tell you it's my I've been Frank on this podcast and I love him dearly because it's hard work it is

hard work for us because you know our whole background and everything that's happened so to me it's like how do you go with the peace that goes beyond all understanding with the doubt with the pain with the questions with the sadness right like and it's okay to feel all of that like there's it's it's learning to remove the guilt and the shame of it yeah right yeah that's a big piece because we feel especially as Christian

women we have I think as women period even if you're not a Christian listening to this our society our culture puts so much guilt and shame on us but I always always tell my clients this guilt and shame comes from the world conviction comes from God and the only way you would understand conviction you just have to be in prayer and in the word even when you don't feel like it yeah yeah and too like I

think that maybe the church maybe could be better at this but like a lot of times you know the church um you know they divide people into like married versus single and you know and there's like a sing Ministry or you know or whatnot so I think uh just creating a space for and the technically like I'm I don't fit the young adults group anymore like what do you do with me you know I'm in my

30s um they would still at my church they would still considered me young adult I I think I'm still kind of young but I I I'm in a different mindset and life than yeah 22y old yeah than a 22y old yeah I mean that's the thing with young adults right what age group is young adults in in church usually like after yeah 18 to like usually some Churches have it till like 35 oh okay which is

kind of like yeah a 35y old talking to an 18-year-old right but I mean they're both adults but I you know I don't know but honestly I being on this Earth for half a century uh and raising you know I have young adult kids um it is very different like I have seen it the mentality of 181 19 yeah you you might be able to go into war and and vote and buy cigarettes whatever right but

but it's very different than a 22 I mean a 30 yeah 25-year-old and a 30 5-year-old it's very because it's life transitions these are different things that we're going through and and and experiencing so for you like what would be the ultimate thing the church can do to help someone that is struggling in their faith or has qu and you know what's weird this morning I listen to Craig Rochelle's I love sermon from this past Sunday

which I will put it in the show notes it was about this subject it's crazy that that we're talking about this and he talked about doubting I didn't get to finish the sermon but I'm halfway through so so tell me like um I I think it starts with leadership you know I'm very blessed my uh my pastor he he's very humble and very practical and he like invites questions from the pulpit from stage you know wow

and um and you know I'm also um I serve in the youth group and I'm very like blunt with my girls I'm like guys if you think this is boring if you don't think this is interesting if you don't like this if you have questions if you don't know who God is or I'm just like bring it on like I'm here like we don't have to play church because I'm not to play Church good and so

starting with just like that invitation and just saying hey if you want to like talk about like doubts or your faith this is a safe space to to do that um because it is part you know of our journey is that doubting uh piece yeah oh it is that doubting it's like and there's quite a few um characters in the Bible that did doubt you know you have Thomas you have Peter walking on the walking on

the it was Peter that walked on the water yeah but you know he lost track and he fell and and and what Craig gelle said today in the sermon this morning when I was making breakfast he he talked about like this whole time when I doubt it he talked about a philosophy Professor too when he it's funny that you're saying the same thing I'm like I'm like okay hey people that that to me is like there

is no coincidences but he talked about where you you you doubt and we and you think that Jesus is like why are you doubting you know like with this strong and he was like no if you really study all the times that someone doubt God always came back with gentle and love see right right we see many of my clients see God as the way their parental unit or the leadership yes yes and I invite them

go ahead Andre yeah no I'm just like nodding like really like um because I I love that topic excuse me because you know our knowledge of relationship begins horizontally right like our parents the people that surround us like we learn love and what Authority is based upon our parental unit yeah so take that experience and now we transplant it into like a spiritual faith-based one we don't erase our experience that comes with us you know so

there's been times or sometimes I still struggle with like God demanding like Perfection from me or like I need to have this in order before for getting the blessing like I thought I needed to be this perfect woman before God blessed me with a perfect man which nothing none of that exists right there's no perfect man or woman there's no perfection in a human if if you can find one please let me know I would love

to bring him on my podcast yeah seriously he'd probably be Jesus coming back oh my gosh I can't wait yeah but yeah so like we bring these like Concepts and ideas from our childhood and our relationship that that we project onto God you know like I've heard of like yeah the the angry father The Angry God the judgmental parent the judgmental God and you know that's not who he is and really it's about like us experiencing

like God's truth like in the flesh like I I remember I had a therapist Christian therapist who taught me you know there's a difference between like your head knowledge of the God's love but it's Al like the heart your heart knowledge with God and those two things have to come together and that's what like strengthens you know that experience when you know God is good and when you experience that he's good you're like yes that's true

yeah for sure you know we talk about or people are starting to talk more and more about spiritual bypassing like I said that a couple of times in church and people are like what's that what's what do you mean spiritual bypassing and you know and then there's faith-based resilience mhm right and then it's like what and and there's a fine line because SP I think we were just talking about it before like you know like spiritual

bypassing is invalidating a person's feelings and emotions it is going what you're not praying enough you're not doing enough or oh come on or like you know it's like you just narcissist it's all about you or your in victim mentality so that's the spiritual bypassing and then there's faith-based resilience where you learn like okay this is life because social media has really done a number with the generations under me like you know I'm Gen X you

know and then you got baby boomers and then I think I don't think there's anyone hardly left from from Beyond but then you have uh you know Millennials or zillennials and gen Z and now gen Alpha's being brought up and I think it's gen Millennials that were the first ones into the social media game yeah or the the social media y hypnosis you know and so this fine line how do we discern when someone's truly leaning

on God versus avoiding their real work of healing yeah that's a great question um I think you can see and discern I think now more than ever we're we can pick up when someone's not being genuine and the younger generation picks up a lot faster you know but it's holding God's truth and your pain and your emotions in the other hand and like not invalidating them you know so acknowledging the reality that you're hurting that you're

going through a hard time while also like holding on to God's promises and hope and it's messy you know it's not always going to be like yeah I'm sad but God is good you know like those people I'm like um well that's spiritual bypassing and I saw that in the new age thing too with you you know like because I was involved in New Age stuff before I came to the Lord and I saw that too

like Good Vibes only and and it's like okay we're living or you know oh wait you have a low um not energy what's it called Low vibration High vibration you know someone that's high vibrations Good Vibes only and I so it's in every kind of culture is when we ignore people's pain and not have compassion that is spiritual bypassing this you know and and saying well this is you know there's no coincidence everything goes for God

you know and that doesn't help like when someone is sitting there with a broken heart in grief and and people don't want to feel those negative emotions no so how do we build that faith-based resilience because that's the thing is understanding that we have to EB and flow mountain and valleys this is life right I think what really helped me is having people around me that get it that were strong had faith based resilience you know

and that understood that sometimes talking was not going to help or they just needed to be there and you know I really like in the scripture where um the Israelites were battling somebody and Moses had his hands raised and like that was like how God was you know using to defeat the the people they were fighting against but then like Aaron and somebody else had to hold his hands up was it Moses or was it somebody

else no that sounds right and so like you need those people to hold you up like you need those people to have faith for you when your faith is lacking like the story of the paralytic like that his friends brought him through the roof to be where Jesus was so that Jesus could heal him like his friends brought him to Jesus and so we need our friends we need a community that you know like that sits

with us and hears us and sits in our pain but also intercedes to God for us you know like Lord be be with Diana as she sits you know in these emotions and she's questioning and you know may she know your comfort in a in a deeper way than ever before you know so just like having those people there um because that's how you learn too because obviously like there's no like life is life and that's

how we learn and yeah you need other people to teach you how to be uh resilient in your faith while also honoring your emotions and I think just in general and you know this as a therapist that people in general lack emotional intelligence or a capacity to like hold their emotions because we live in a world where I'll never forget this it's from a book I think Tim Timothy Keller but like we lust for Relief so

like We crave um all the highs in life and we don't really like like to feel the lows which I don't I know I'm the to say I don't but they're necessary and they help us grow MH oh no and that goes to social media I mean the all these forms of Escape like yes honestly I found myself after going through some of my stuff um the next thing you know I think I was like shopping

at thrift stores almost every day and then coming home and just going on YouTube eating a bag of chips and I finally after one week I was like okay enough of that because I'm not going to go down that rabbit hole because back in the day when I felt these un comfortable feelings that we don't like right which is grief sadness anger frustration these these that are opposite of what we want to feel constantly the dopamine

highs the oxytocin highs the you know the like woo like even in churches like there's a Feelgood churches where you go in and it's experiencing stuff constantly but when you stop experiencing they get spiritually bypassed and told oh you're not having enough Faith or you know and and it's just like wait what because we're not supposed to be constantly in that manic state of things and people don't know that they think that oh no I'm in

a low place that means I'm not a Christian anymore yeah or Jesus doesn't love me anymore and Jesus doesn't change he loves you no matter what no matter what you do what you say where have you been you don't have to come to him to be and and be perfect to come he's there waiting all along all along so you know like as therapists you know we walk with people through the hardest moments of their lives

you are there any practical steps that could someone can take when they feel too broken to engage with their faith uh yes um I'm going to share a little like a little story but um so in a season another season where I was doubting God and I was angry so I guess I have a p of ignoring God when I'm angry and wonder where that came from but um so again like yeah I wasn't really engaging

with him and uh God has a very beautiful way of pursuing us even when we're not um willing and so a friend of mine she said she had a dream and gave of me and gave me a verse and so the verse was Isaiah 41:10 that sayso not fear for I'm with you do not be dismayed for I'm your God I will strengthen you and help you I will uphold you with my righteous right hand so

I got that verse and I was I told God I was like God you know what I'm not going to pray because I just I really don't feel like it but I'm going to say this verse out loud every day and to be honest I didn't expect anything to happen or change uh but I remember that there was a shift that happened like a couple weeks me just reading one verse and not even praying and that

just showed me the power of scripture yes and so one practical thing is start small you know like you don't have to read a whole passage you don't have to read a whole chapters or multiple chapters and even if you don't believe what it says yes you know like challenge yourself like you know what God let me see if you're real like pray that or repeat that verse or something you know um um secondly like lean

on community like I mentioned like allow trusted people to pray for you when you don't have enough strength to pray for yourself yeah and um thirdly like be brutally honest yeah with yeah I wanted to just say some about uh number two that you just talked about because many people are lonely and they don't have Community or they have Community but it's toxic you know and so to me there are online like there's a Grace Oasis

where I listen to their prayers probably daily and you know it's a 10-minute prayer and I love it because it makes me focused because my brain will go all over the place as you know Andrea like I'm like woo woo woo I have the Zoomies and uh and so that makes me focus on what it's say what they're saying and then in the chat comments they says like hey pray for me or whatever and and so

start there too or just take the you know look for churches around you you know Bible believing churches most of them have online sermons so you can check them out first before you even go and then with other communities too there's um probably like radio Christian radio stations that have online prayer or like you start small like she said all right sorry and then number three yeah um yeah be brutally honest with god um so tell

him exactly how you feel he can handle your doubts your anger your pain you know like yeah like I just found that it's first of all like it validates you're validating your own pain and you know you're allowing you're inviting God into that and he already knows yeah but there's just something happens when we just vocalize that you know to and uh lastly and most importantly like remember that faith is a choice not a feeling you

know our emotions fluctuate and but at the same time we can still choose to hold on to God even when it's hard yeah know like God I see you know what you taking away my dad my grandfather all my father figures in my life like that was really like unfair but I don't know what you're doing and I don't need to know even though I want to know but I'm going to choose to trust you and

you know again it's it's it it is a choice while also holding those emotions yeah and um that would be DBT yeah you know we're we're we're doing CBT and DBT cognitive behavioral therapy along with diale behavioral diale behavioral therapy yeah yeah and two truths can you can hold them both yeah exactly and yeah and some days you're like God I'm really mad at you right now and yeah yeah that's okay or you disappointed me like

let me down even though God doesn't let us down but we perceive that he has you know right um so yeah because like we humanize him to too much when we realize he's a a being that goes beyond our thoughts I mean isn't that a verse in Isaiah where he goes you know his thoughts are not our thoughts his ways are not our ways exactly and we ha you know that's the thing is like that's when

you're in awe and that's true worship I I feel is when you realize that you're just a human being with a finite brain and biology psychology and Theology and that he is so much bigger and that's the trusting that is the trusting of like okay there is something so much more and I'm surrendering everything to you that's the beginning of our of um this episode when you shared that story of like you were there cold and

and just you know what with all that emotion and pain and when you finally have to just it's the dark KN of the Soul it's like I you just become you just came to the end of your rope to the end of yourself and you're just going okay I'm going to trust in this a magnific there's no words there's no no no words to describe our creator of this universe and so listen I know you and

I can talk about this probably for another one two three hours and other subjects too but um for listeners who want to go deeper in healing and rebuilding their faith or navigate their own crisis how can they work with you yeah well they can go um onto my website Soulful lifestyle.com there's a little Dash between soul and full um but yeah they can look me up there and schedule a call and a session okay that's what

and do you work online or or in person both both so I can do virtual or in person in uh the Dy area okay so in person and Davey or if you you know live in Jacksonville and you want to drive all the way to dve that's cool right South Florida is pretty cool at times yeah not when you're driving through Miami but yeah yeah I know for real um all right is there any final words

you'd like to say to the audience before we go uh yeah just you know want to say you're a scene your pain is real and your doubts don't make you any less valuable to God and you know he's not abandon you he's not distant or indifferent to your pain in fact he Grieves with you and and yeah he's working even when you don't see it yeah yeah I mean trust trusting is hard to do because when

humans mess that up for you oh I like right it's like wait a minute because then how are we going to trust God God made the humans in His image I mean so this is how my brain goes It goes deeper and deeper and deeper and work through that and and that's why Community is important and just like she said sit with the word I am studying the book of Psalms right now and then I also

am reading this book by David B um opening up to prayer I mean I've been praying for a long time but learning new ways understanding you're not stuck and that there when it comes to our faith All Good Things Come From Above exactly and you can learn and and learn to be responsible for yourself so you don't stay stuck when you're healing some people get stuck in the victim mode for too long and then they don't

know how to get out so you know call up Andre and work with her you could also you know listen to some of the past episodes because we touch on that and um I also write a blog called Liberation Lunas that I'm going to you know I drop try to drop every Monday but listen we're human beings and um Jesus loves you even when you don't feel it like Andrea said feelings come and go they're not

permanent understand that and then you know you got to pick up the tools and do the hard work which is hard because it's like they don't know where to start you know they're they're frozen in the pain and just start with one tiny little step Journal like honestly I picked up my journal and I just wrote one word constantly and then I scribbled scribbled scribbled scribbled but it's still somatically releasing that yeah you know so there's

there's so many different things out there um and when you're overwhelmed go into nature because he created that that is that you know go barefooted in the grass and go try to find a butterfly to look at or a bug or something and just breathe yes right so a all right Andre thank you so much for coming on the holistic counselor podcast and listeners do not forget to trust in the Lord guard your heart and renew

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