Why Am I Anxious About Money? Financial Therapy, Scarcity Mindset & Childhood Money Beliefs

Why can two people have the same amount of money and feel completely different about it? Why does checking a bank account make some people anxious, while others avoid thinking about money altogether? And how much of our relationship with money began long before we ever earned our first paycheck?

Money is rarely just about numbers.

Our financial behaviors can become connected to safety, identity, control, shame, scarcity, relationships, childhood experiences, culture, faith, and the stories we have learned about what money means.

In Episode 129 of The Holistic Counselor Podcast, Diana S. Rice, LMHC, CIMHP sits down with Oliver Schnusenberg, Ph.D., MSc, CFT™, CFP®, BFA™, finance professor, behavioral finance researcher, Certified Financial Therapist™, life coach, and current clinical mental health counseling graduate student, for a fascinating conversation at the intersection of money, psychology, neuroscience, behavioral finance, relationships, and mental health.

This is not an episode about picking stocks or creating the perfect budget.

It is a conversation about why we do what we do with money.

Oliver explains why traditional finance cannot fully account for human behavior, how behavioral finance began challenging the assumption that people always make rational financial decisions, and why understanding the psychology behind our financial choices may be just as important as understanding the numbers.

Together, Diana and Oliver explore how childhood financial experiences can shape adult money beliefs, why financial scarcity can continue to feel threatening even when circumstances change, how couples can experience money completely differently, and what it might look like to become more intentional rather than simply reacting to fear, shame, advertising, or old financial patterns.

In This Episode, We Talk About: What financial therapy is and how it brings together financial, psychological, behavioral, emotional, cognitive, and relational perspectives Why Oliver moved from finance and behavioral finance into psychology, neuroscience, financial therapy, and clinical mental health counseling The difference between understanding what people do with money and understanding why they do it How confirmation bias can influence financial decisions How loss aversion influences the way we experience gains and losses How childhood experiences, financial hardship, culture, family roles, and unspoken rules about money can shape our adult financial behavior Why a child does not have to personally lose a home or experience bankruptcy to associate money with fear How hearing parents argue about bills, experiencing scarcity, or watching a caregiver struggle financially may influence later beliefs about money and safety The connection between money, safety, shame, control, avoidance, spending, and relationships Why couples can have completely different emotional reactions to the exact same financial decision Why someone who grew up with scarcity may continue to feel financially unsafe even after their circumstances improve The ways financial stress may show up through fight, flight, freeze, avoidance, hyper-control, or emotional reactivity What Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) teaches about thoughts, emotions, psychological flexibility, and values Why fighting every uncomfortable thought may not be the most helpful strategy How ACT "defusion" can help create distance from statements such as "I am bad with money" The difference between saying "I am bad with money" and "I notice that I am having the thought that I am bad with money" Relational Frame Theory and the mental associations we build between words, experiences, emotions, and meaning Why the word money might unconsciously connect to ideas such as danger, freedom, shame, power, deprivation, security, generosity, or "not enough" Financial avoidance and why some people would rather ignore bills or avoid opening their banking app Consumer psychology, subscriptions, small recurring payments, and the temptation to think "it's only a few dollars a month" Social media, instant gratification, hustle culture, and the challenges younger generations face while living in an attention economy Why intentionality matters in both mental health and financial health How identifying your values can help guide financial decisions Why your spending may reveal something about what you value—or what you are trying to feel, avoid, prove, or protect How IFS-informed curiosity can help us ask what a spending, saving, controlling, or avoiding "part" may be trying to accomplish Why financial behavior does not have to be approached with shame Practical questions you can begin asking yourself about your own money story Diana Gets Financial Therapy in Real Time One of my favorite parts of this conversation happened when Oliver turned the questions back on me.

He began with a simple word association:

Money.

My immediate response?

Paper.

That opened an unexpected conversation about learning to see money as a tool rather than something that determines safety, worth, identity, or success.

I shared how my own childhood experiences shaped my relationship with money—watching my mother work multiple jobs, experiencing financial scarcity, and eventually realizing that somewhere along the way, my younger brain had connected money with not feeling safe.

Oliver then walked me through a values-based exercise.

I described the person I most want to be as:

Generous. Kind. Loving. A teacher. A philanthropist.

Eventually, those words became:

"Helper of others."

Then we explored how I want to relate to the people around me:

Giving. Curious. Peaceful. Respectful. Encouraging.

The word that emerged was:

"Future."

Oliver put the two together:

"Helper of others' futures." Finally, he asked me to connect that value with a small act of self-compassion.

My answer was simple:

Take a deep breath.

So when I am facing a decision—financial or otherwise—the practice becomes:

Breathe. Remember "helper of others' futures." Then ask whether this decision moves me toward the person I want to become.

That moment captures one of the biggest ideas in this entire episode:

Our healthiest financial decisions may begin not only with asking, "Can I afford this?" but also, "Is this consistent with what matters to me and the person I want to become?"

Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Relationship With Money Oliver offers a simple place to begin:

What did I hear about money while I was growing up?

How did my parents or caregivers talk about money?

What happened emotionally when bills, debt, spending, or income were discussed?

What financial experiences shaped me when I was young?

What happened when I earned my first money?

What do I believe about wealthy people?

What do I believe about people who struggle financially?

What does having money mean to me?

What does losing money mean to me?

What does spending money give me emotionally?

What am I afraid might happen if I do not have enough?

Where am I spending my money now—and what might that reveal about my values?

Am I making financial choices intentionally, or am I reacting automatically?

And perhaps the biggest question:

Who do I want to become? Because without intentionally answering that question, it is easy to allow culture, advertising, fear, comparison, social media, family expectations, or old survival strategies to answer it for us.

Faith & Money At the beginning of this conversation, I also challenge one of the most frequently repeated misquotations about money and Scripture.

The Bible does not say that money itself is the root of all evil.

1 Timothy 6:10 warns about the love of money.

That opens a much more meaningful question:

When does money move from being a useful tool to something we expect to provide our identity, worth, security, status, or ultimate sense of control?

That is a question worth slowing down long enough to consider.

About Dr. Oliver Schnusenberg Oliver Schnusenberg, Ph.D., MSc, CFT™, CFP®, BFA™, is the Earle C. Traynham Professor of Finance at the University of North Florida, where he teaches finance and financial planning.

His academic work includes behavioral finance, financial planning, psychology, neuroscience, and the psychological processes underlying financial behavior.

Oliver earned his Ph.D. in Finance and later completed an MSc in Psychology and Neuroscience in Mental Health from King's College London. He is currently completing graduate training in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at the University of Florida.

He is a Certified Financial Therapist™, Certified Financial Planner™, Behavioral Financial Advisor™, certified life coach, and founder of Equilibria Evolution, where his work focuses on intentional, values-based financial and personal decision-making.

Important clarification: At the time of this recording, Oliver is not a licensed mental health counselor. He discusses his work in financial therapy and coaching while completing his clinical mental health counseling education.

Connect With Dr. Oliver Schnusenberg Equilibria Evolution: https://www.equilibriaevolution.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/oschnuse

Instagram: @oliverschnusenberg

YouTube: @oschnuse

Oliver's Podcast: Less Hustle, More Intention Available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/less-hustle-more-intention/id1824876017

Resources Mentioned in This Episode Financial Therapy Association Learn more about the field of financial therapy, professional education, research, and financial therapy resources through the Financial Therapy Association.

Think2Perform Values Exercise Oliver discusses using the Think2Perform Values Cards Exercise to help people identify their core values and examine whether their behaviors and decisions align with what matters most to them.

Search: Think2Perform Values Exercise

Setting Boundaries That Stick Juliane Taylor Shore, LMFT

Full title: Setting Boundaries That Stick: How Neurobiology Can Help You Rewire Your Brain to Feel Safe, Connected, and Empowered

Oliver referenced this book while demonstrating the values/self-compassion exercise during the episode.

The Anxious Generation Jonathan Haidt

A discussion of childhood, adolescence, smartphones, social media, and mental health that came up during our conversation about younger generations, attention, autonomy, and intentional living.

Man's Search for Meaning Viktor E. Frankl

Diana and Oliver discuss Viktor Frankl's work while exploring the importance of creating space between what happens to us and how we choose to respond.

Making ACT Happen Gijs Jansen, PsyD

Oliver references Gijs Jansen while discussing Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Relational Frame Theory.

Full title: Making ACT Happen: How to Use Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in Clinical Practice

Profit First Mike Michalowicz

Diana mentions how the Profit First system helped her conceptualize money and business finances in a way that finally made sense to her.

Gabe Bult Diana references personal-finance and minimalism creator Gabe Bult during the discussion of consumer culture, recurring payments, spending, and younger generations.

Key Terms From This Episode Financial anxiety • money anxiety • financial therapy • financial stress • money mindset • childhood money beliefs • scarcity mindset • financial trauma • money story • behavioral finance • financial psychology • money avoidance • emotional spending • money shame • couples and money • money and relationships • nervous system and money • fight flight freeze • financial wellness • confirmation bias • loss aversion • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy • ACT therapy • psychological flexibility • cognitive defusion • Relational Frame Theory • RFT • Internal Family Systems • IFS • values-based living • values-based spending • intentional living • personal finance psychology • money and mental health • childhood scarcity • financial behavior

Search Questions Answered in This Episode Why do I feel anxious about money?

What is financial therapy?

Can childhood experiences affect the way I spend and save money?

What is a scarcity mindset?

Why am I afraid to spend money even when I can afford something?

Why do I avoid checking my bank account?

Why do couples fight about money?

How does childhood poverty affect adults?

Can money trigger fight, flight, or freeze responses?

How do I change unhealthy money beliefs?

How can ACT help with money anxiety?

How can I stop emotional or impulsive spending?

How do my values affect my financial decisions?

How do I develop a healthier relationship with money?

A Final Thought Oliver leaves us with a powerful idea:

Money can function like an emotionally honest mirror.

It can reflect our fears, our history, our hopes, what we learned to survive, and what we believe will finally make us feel safe.

The goal is not to shame what we see in that mirror.

The invitation is to become curious enough to understand it—and intentional enough to decide what we want to do next.

Educational Disclaimer: This podcast is provided for educational and informational purposes only and is not psychotherapy, mental health treatment, financial planning, investment advice, tax advice, legal advice, or a substitute for services from an appropriately licensed or qualified professional. Individual circumstances vary. Please consult qualified mental health, financial, legal, tax, or medical professionals when appropriate.

At the time of this recording, Dr. Oliver Schnusenberg identifies his work as financial therapy and ACT-informed coaching and is completing graduate education