Advocating for Mental Health in Black and Brown Communities

welcome fearfully and wonderfully made humans to another episode of the holistic counselor podcast it's me Diana your host and a Christian integrative mental health professional and the founder of through the valley therapy I am so delighted about today's episode because it's one of those moments where you can see how beautifully God aligns our paths with people were meant to meet let me tell you a quick backstory back in August I received an email from Amanda basos

Amanda basos I think that's how we say her last name basos basos which means glasses in or glass in Spanish but anyway someone I've had the pleasure of knowing for quite a while now she wrote Dian meet terany Woods a local provider in private practice here in South Florida who practices from a Christian lens I know you both will connect deeply Amanda was spot on Terry terany and I set up a zoom call and what started

as a simple introduction turned into an hour of real conversation about faith mental health and what it means to be women of color in this field from the start I knew this was a connection ordained by God now let me tell you a bit about tyranny she's a mental health professional with over a decade of experience as a therapist educator and Community coordinator a graduate of Palm Beach Atlantic University she integrates her Christian faith with evidence-based

therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy and emotionally focused therapy her passion supporting individuals families and couples while advocating for mental health awareness in black and brown communities today we're diving deep into how her distinct but interconnected experiences have shaped her journey we'll also discuss a critical question what changes need to happen in education to better support mental health in black and brown communities Tyran Insight are powerful and I know they'll resonate with anyone who's passionate about making

a difference in underserved communities so without further Ado let's welcome the incredible tyranny Woods to the show hey girl hey all right right so let's start with your personal Journey okay can you just share a little on how and why you became a therapist and why you chose to attend Palm Beach Atlantic University two very different things two very different things so first my journey to become a therapist Diana was my husband and I were doing

what they call Lay counseling so that means you don't have any credentials and you're supporting people in therapy and we were doing it at our church and I loved it I loved um the process I love the process and the intimacy that you got deep with others and so time went on I kept we kept doing that and one day I thought I should go to school for this exactly exactly I wanted to legitimize myself and

how that led me to Palm Beach Atlantic well first of all my bachelor's is in learning exceptionalities so I'm a teacher at heart wow in fact my whole paternal side I think are all almost all teachers except for my parents who have psychology degrees that's a whole another podcast wow yeah um so the reason purely the reason I chose Palm Beach Atlantic will be very different than what those may think because I'm a Believer it was

because it was in person and down the street from where I live I love it and the campus is beautiful oh my gosh it's a beautiful campus there for a Nami event and it was so reminisce and I'm like I was here walking These Hoes yeah it is a beautiful that's how I got to Palm Beach Atlantic you know there are online opportunities and I really need I love to ponder with people I like to see

what comes out of someone's mouth and what their body does and I can't see that online no no I'm I'm the same way I don't know how these younger students are doing this online full-time it's even hard to be a therapist online fulltime right I miss I miss it but now I'm learning how to to do it like and be okay with it yeah oh we we I need some tips on that oh definit so so

tell me the so that's a Le can you explain that a little bit more because I do know about lay Counseling in churches and stuff and every church has it differently but um I like how you said legitimize because honestly I have seen some lay counselors actually do more harm than good in searches because they don't understand psychology and then they blame everything on Satan oh so first of all thank you I wanted to make sure

I don't want we don't want offend we want to be honest I I I feel that um I both of us we love to learn I believe in education I don't know everything and there are people that are thank the Lord practically smarter than me they did the work so um I trusted and remember I come from a family of Educators so it's kind of it's so natural like there was know what do you do after

high school it's like so you're going to what college wow well that's good that you had that because many of us and I do know it's rare because my husband did not come out the same so um and I got to grow up in a HBCU which is a historical black college um family so that a whole different yes it is I grew up I am africanamerican black I am not Caribbean even though I try to

be in that Community cuz I they claim me though I'm an honorary member I claim you too and I'm only half caribbian so it's like um but I did not know the diverseness of college that was not a nonwhite campus isn't that something wow wow right can you tell me more about that I mean they're black professors black admin everybody so I hope this statement keeps you on air black black black we were black black it

was good black it was different it was intimate it was it felt so familiar it felt so safe to be corrected and learned and challenged to like learn like I'll give you an example so my uncle was the head of the biology Department by marriage and he was no whole bars so I took a year there strategically avoided him as a professor cuz I know how hard he is so I had it planned and everything I'm

so excited I'm in class and who walks in my uncle so I'm like oh what is he doing here the professor got sick and he was a replacement oh my wow which which school did you go to Fort Valley State at the time it was college now it's Fort Valley State University in Middle Georgia okay and so HBC there's quite a few FAMU is one Florida correct B okay yeah yeah and I could imagine I mean

I I didn't have that kind of opportunity right so it's like I can imagine when you have like-minded or you feel in a safer community of understanding and and you're able to speak freely about things without right so we're gonna go now to the next question that I really have for you is like you know you and I come from different cultural backgrounds right you're you're black American I'm Latino American okay how have your distinct yet

interconnected experience shaped your journey and what changes do you think need to happen in education to better support our communities when it comes to mental health because that's something I noticed right off the bat like back in the day right when I was going in my master and I was questioning the DSM and I was questioning the professors and they're just sitting there and I was questioning leaders at churches because the church that I attended um

after I got married was predominantly white and so I I always asked questions and I've been to black churches too so it was just like I'm always asking questions right that's like the why like why are we like this why is this where in the Bible where we in the DSM why why are we not taking culture you know why and so sometimes I got told to shut my mouth and you know that made me louder

I'm gonna give you a a hint so I'm I was that I'm that continued person in the black community so I have a St I even asked for audience with my pastors to go so I know you might and I say this I'm like you may not agree or ask for my membership but here I go so I let them know I'm coming like this yeah or my friends go when they say you got a question

and I'm sitting there they look at me you don't have nothing right that's when your brain's pondering don't we look okay so whomever see SE this which is I pray that this goes viral I just want to let you know that it's pushy on that that we're sisters you and I this is what we do because this this is such as you opened up a god connection yeah there um so when I moved from Fort Valley

I moved to Palm Beach County okay I graduated in 87 so I started High School in 8384 we were living in a it was all not the best move so there was a social economic drop when I moved to Florida we moved in with my grandma she lived in an old school what they call a shotgun house do you know what that is I can imagine jealousy Windows jealousy windows so listen the house was set up

that in the South if someone shot through it would go straight through the house I just saw the show no oh oh yes oh my God I'm sorry I know it's just I just saw a show and I'm trying to remember what show and it was about a judge and that's what they talked and that's the first time I ever heard that grandma lived in that so you just imagine they're not very large no so then

not only that so A Drop in finances all now generation living when it wasn't popular right and then we were busted to Forest Hill High School I've heard the whole black community and then they needed some Blackness at Forest Hill and at the time then all of the black if I can say white children were coming from Wellington at the time oh and Wellington is it's it's a very rich neighborhood so and very poor very rich

white what you think yeah oh no it's the same for me in De in BR County deerfi high it was the same Lighthouse Point and then right here at deerfi high where it was just very you know and then I grew up a little bit further away but yeah my family wasn't doing well emotionally we came for not the best reasons it wasn't a career move I'll just say that and um I have a sweet friend

that wants me to change this statement nothing has changed it I had one glimmer of hope in that High School outside of that I hated every four years of it really I really did and I was in the band for three years what' you play I was on a drill team flag girl oh I love that yes yes yes well now I have to ask did your high school have rhythm the drum section did yeah okay

I was just no and I mean by that because I remember uh deerfi high and then Elie high school and Elie would come and kick our butt when it came to challenging the marching band we were just so like back in the early 80s you know remember Gloria eston the sou album that was our anthm so then we were we got that we got our Brown sisters and brothers Rhythm I love it there was that diverse

community that was so new to coming from Georgia you know so I got the white culture his Hispanic influence that I knew nothing about and I didn't want to be there I had no friends because I came back at high school yeah they have friends from K through that I didn't have any right so the education thing you ask I'm sorry I got all in the tangent no this is about us girl like people might listen

they might not but I'm we're trying to te we're real we're raw real people just because we have some kind of license on our wall doesn't mean we're not real human beings regular regular with problems too and I have a therapist as well hello me too exactly so ask me the question again help me out yeah no worries I'm just wondering what you think about the education system now and what or it's not only the education

it might be just I don't want to nitpick every system and because I think because we are educated we do understand that we've come a long way but we still have a long way to go yes I agree right and so how do we serve our black and brown communities better or what do we say to our colleagues that don't come from backgrounds like us we got to be in the places that we are not and

where we're the minority we really do for our young young children we have to advocate for them and be uncomfortable and risk being told to sit down to Advocate um like be unapologetically with respect who you are there's nothing about me I don't like and I don't have a problem educating I had a friend when I first was growing my locks we played a completely nonblack sport but we played tennis I love it and so and

it was a little the husband I married gave me some come UPS I just that I can play tennis in the daytime that's a whole another story but in Palm Beach County list yeah so and we play with older retired non-black people I probably was the only black person on there so I said so this one lady after we finished she goes to the court we're greeting the nette she leans over and says I love your

hair how do you watch that H well it did not phas me because before I had locks I wondered the same thing how about that wow but my friend was in raage she was red in the face and I said friend I got it's okay because if you don't ask the question how will we how will you know exactly something showed up in me that made her comfortable it she didn't ask it rude and she was

older too there's so my point with education we got to be in the places we got to stay educated how about that and we have to be okay when people ask us things that make us do this right it's it's learning it's that Carl Young where anything that irritates you right why do I always forget it it's like my favorite quote and I can't remember it but it is it's like anything that irritates you you it's

just s like a representation of where you need to heal that is not it people but look it up young look it up Carl Young but it is it's like understanding that when we get activated in the system right we get activated it is figuring out okay are we gonna blame the other person or are we gonna are we going to give our power to the other human because that's what happens or do we keep our

power and try to figure out how to manage it so then we stay in control and master it do you know I use that word a lot lately human yeah me too oh okay keep going because we're gonna run because we are so connected oh my goodness I do too because just what's happening in in our world how Faith plays out understanding that we're one in Christ your identity in Christ is what actually to me would

connect all of us but I still ECT because I I had this convers what do you think about this I had this conversation it was oh and you were there at the um parenting conference right and when someone said Melting Pot and I said no I like to say that we're fruit salads I love that you said that I have been feasting literally I love it but how do you bring that when that's been the theme

of America The Melting Pot so how did you how do you reframe it it's just I just say that I'm like I'm not a Melting Pot I I'm a fruit salad I'm here with you but I'm still going to take pride in my culture that's what the whole point of America I thought was about from the beginning freedom freedom freedom to be us you know the life liberty and the pursuit of happiness okay and so that's

like sometimes we have sour grapes and sometimes we have sweet peaches yeah are those funny little fingerling grapes have you seen those they they're odd looking but they're sweet yeah oh no now I'm gonna have to check them out so seriously like with with your experiences right and then you went into uh Palm Beach Atlantic which is going to be different than a public college right getting your master I went to Nova so it was private

but it wasn't faith based at all okay and so and then did you work in Community Mental Health did I you ever heard of Jerome golden mental health hospital that was on 45th Street I it used to be 45th Street mental health it's close now yeah I work there okay so and and so you Pro you probably saw some did you ever work in the like uh with teenagers in the mental health or in schools I

did it um yes because I worked for another agency with that went into schools to provide yes I didou did you see how things were different you know for people like us you know it's interesting say I went to a school once in um lockah hatchee but North and more West okay so I went there and I was like the the what do you call the things the curb stops where people part yeah the PTA was

I mean it was like when is this a Elementary so then I went to one I'll just say it pathon cookman and I'm like man this feels so sterile and like I feel like I'm I walked in I feel like I was in trouble so there was such a difference in where in the same Palm Beach County resources are different it's so unfor and it really is not fair I don't know how they regulate funds to

different schools it and I think that's why things are shifting I mean I'm hoping people wake up and they realize because the education system I loved School honestly tyranny like I loved it because I felt loved at school because some people go to school because they're not feeling loved at home hello yes and I was one of those yeah okay and so I loved school I felt I had purpose I my teachers everything I had friends

and and so it was a whole different experience because I do know people that hate high school and I'm like I absolutely because I felt safe yeah well High School I didn't care for but I with you from um K up even though I went to two different schools I loved it I'm still that nerd that would do the pencil box and what you're wearing when I taught I'm like what's outfit gonna be the first day

and my husband goes aren't you the teacher I'm like yes but oh man so I want to know a little bit about that emotionally focused therapy yeah so it's definitely really geared to um couples and for unfortunately this year the founder Susan Johnson who's Canadian I used to love to listen to her training passed away but it really is what you are you and I are doing and what I bet you do in your space sit

with a client and look at you're going to love this the attachment Styles what do you mean so you know they have the secure the ab boarding and living ambivalent passive aggressive or you got the parenting styles that this parenting was authoritarian do as I say you got the um the friend parent um you got I I believe just from talking to you and listening or it's a evolution of we we desire to be those authoritative

where let's talk about it even knowing we're the final say but I want to hear your input those impact how we relation you know what causes us to pull back withdraw go after um you know you said school was where you You Were Loved A lot of times in emotional Focus we are drawn to something that may have been a deficit and we think we're not marrying our mom or dad and then you look like man

there's some resemblance of that especially when we haven't done our work oh speak speak on that more please what does that mean when we haven't done our work so uh Diana since we already have been talking about this the work is vulnerability um humans are human so they're not perfect saying what your expectations as Believers followers of Christ grace mercy this is my new mantra so I'm I hope people join me in it I'm doing this

study with uh Lisa turques on forgiv what you can't forget so in the line she said they asked when should you forgive right now and the prayer is Lord help me forgive before I'm offended because I am a sensitive bird I'm so sensitive so can I tell you something I've been doing what so remember when you had babies and they were learning to potty train and sometimes everybody then flush after and you oh my goodness really

well it was different in my house tyan because it was it was if it's yellow let it mellow if it's brown flush sh down we did that too but then tyranny is a little I don't want to see nothing but the the porcelain Whit the clear the clear but we I tried I tried well it's so if the brown I'm like oh my gosh so this is me before I open it up I go forgive um

I forgive before I'm offended and the nothing's they like or this Diana can I be as nice to my family as I am to the people in the grocery store o o or in our work because think about what we do man what do we do we're phony oh we put on the we put on the facade let me take that back because sometimes you have to be in a presence to do your work um so

I don't want to say phony right that could be pinching it's it's a it's a part of us like you know that's why I like Dr Richard Schwarz uh work internal family systems because you know we all have all these parts of us and and then when you really figure that out like yeah I can compartmentalize when I need to be a therapist and professional or speak in front of a crowd I get that I put

on that suit I'm so uncomfortable because I ain't the real me right like right now I got makeup on that's not the real and a bra that ain't the real me but but it is it is a part of us and that's that's the I love the grace and the Forgiveness that you're talking about what was the name of the um forgetting what you can't forgive wait no no that's wrong wait give me a minute it

is this happens when you get over a certain age people really I'm sorry if I'm like laughing and Blas love because I think I say it backwards because people like how are you gonna forgive or her forgiving what you can't forget oh so she hurts don't go anywhere you know what I use in my couple thing man I really do need some guidance on when you do it virtual because sometimes they are like you you're trying

to jump in there I don't do couples at all I'm individual only I wouldn't even after a while I was like I would tell the parents straight up I am your kids therapist I'm not yours go ahead on sis I love that so I don't adolescence either anymore just adults individual ready to anyway here I say Les with all people words out of our mouths are Sharpies on our brains you can't eras it wow say that

again that's that's powerful when we speak words out of our mouths they form into Sharpie markers and imprint themselves on our brain that cannot be even with when a an apology follows a genuine one a a heartfelt one is still there and that's the forgiving what you can't forget yeah forgiving what you can't forget and sometimes it's it's a process to reframe it because that's the thing like you don't forget it but it's still traveling in

your body and activating you and controlling you and mastering you and and that's the and and this is something I've been saying a lot lately too and I'm like yeah you know because the more I'm by myself pondering and praying it's like I realize us humans live either the ego slash the flesh ego psychology flesh spiritual side of things right ego or flesh or we live in the humility or spirit and those are the two choices

you get to do every day and choices choices when our minds are working well someone told me this it could have been you did you tell me I heard it recently ego stands for edging God out no but I I'll take credit no I'm just kidding one of my mom figures I know Mama D and I said I like that yeah for sure out yeah edging got out and it is true it is I saw that

no it might have been on one of Lisa's uh podcast because she has therapy and theology podcast yes she does I just found that yeah my friend showed me about it it therapy and theology what yeah I think it is and she's with her actual therapist that helped her through her divorce he yeah I've learned quite a few things and I actually use a lot of YouTube's podcasts because a lot of my clients that come to

me like to have homework they're like and they know that so that's what I use worksheets a whole bunch of things honestly and I hand it over you know I I send it to them and I'm like all right that's something for you to do for the week take some notes and we'll discuss it so speaking of part on YouTube have you given homework I gave someone this funny homework you ever heard of the tiger breath

no what is that is that like a breath work uhhuh so but in yoga you do it and I didn't think of this because I like yoga but in the instructions it says you get on all fource and you do this I'm away not to do this in your face you go oh well in my class we used to do it all the time I loved it yeah I was giving it to a client that happened

to be a male he said I'm not doing that so I found the box breath he said I'll do that yeah that tiger thing so I said it's the he goes it's the all fours for me yeah but no now I remembered yeah when I took yoga classes that the I I thought it was going to be like Tiger Woods or something I don't know what I was you know you make that yeah yeah and it's

it's powerful because think about what you're doing you're activating the Vegas nerve you're you the parasympathetic nerve to calm and rest and digest so all these things like these practices from other places that's another thing I realize being a Christian therapist is that some people are like really against certain modalities that I use and it's not that I'm using the religion like say um traditional Chinese medicine or are you are UVic medicine like their concepts of

things it's very powerful and they've been around for thousands and thousands before the a thousands of years you know what I mean and it's not I'm not worshiping anything I'm taking parts modalities of certain things that have worked have worked and incorporating it because every human being has different biology psychology and theology I know I'm so repetitive people all my listeners that listen to me I say that all the time but it's true it's like realizing

right that you are an individual person but we're also tribal we need to have our our tribe yes yes and why would we my word segregate because you missing out on the the that thing we're missing out when we could be that fruit salad mhm oh my gosh it's so yummy with poppy seeds and strawberries and cantaloupes and pumpkin seed and walnuts and whatever the seasonal fruit is in true even though I do like a stew

well let's let's go back to the fruit salad um thought process because I think people react with strong emotion because of pain right right is that makes sense they react and so and they want to be heard and I think that's why so many things rose up in 20120 okay right I mean like and I'm and I'm talking about like between the races and stuff and and okay and that's a hard word to say for me

because back in the day when I took classes at TCC like in the early 90s I took a race in minority class and then they're like you know that's a social construct the word race and why it was construct to keep people apart and I and then I learned about media back then and I'm like that makes sense because it's really one human race we might have different ethnicities ethnicities yeah and backgrounds and beautiful color because

I always use the words of like vanilla strawberry caramel cinnamon oh I like that I'm gonna be using it good because honestly to me it's just like I see you I see who you are I don't like the color blindness thing like I'm color blind I don't see and I'm like no you got to be honest right what do you think you just made that face what came to your head startop reading me what but I

I wonder with that I've heard that so much in vanilla spaces like and guess what because I didn't feel comfortable and I was new to knowing who I was I said oh I I like that and then as I grew into me I'm like no I don't want to not be we are are not all the same we are sentiment oh we are nutmeg we are cayenne we are terracotta we are all of that and that's

so wonderful yay great why let's celebrate it yeah so it it came across a little offensive when when why do you want to stand out and I'm like not trying to stand out trying to stand in me so I don't it's a struggle still for me in some spaces it is it is and and I you know I think I told you next week next Friday I'm going to be one of the last speakers and they're

having me speak in front of I don't know how many will show up but it's a SE that your trip that's my trip to North Carolina for the wise practice Summit and it's um about a 100 Private Practice owners from across the country coming and I'm going to talk about cultural competency I have been working on it for two weeks straight I have worksheets I have PDFs I have so much and I'm like praying I'm like

God I I'm not here to offend I don't want to offend but people will be offended because because the word does and so it's just you know like all these different the research I've done my personal experiences what I've seen because most of my career was in the BR County alternative school systems you told me that and so the things that I saw and then I'm am a product of the BR County School System so you

know from sixth grade on I came from New York okay yeah you know alternative schools is a whole another thing we should do yeah well we have time what do you mean by that I so one of the things about me I didn't put in there is I just am on this journey which I'm loving of restorative justice did I talk to you about that no what's that mean so restorative justice is a change change a

change is coming into doing things instead of punitively like suspension isolation criminalization and going that route which I do know people strongly believe that there are some things that that's the that's it right restorative justice is looking at how to what the word is saying repair the harm so the terminology is is the person that harm the person that cause harm who affected that and then the K through 12 which there are conversations that that age

group especially in people that are cinnamon brown Cayenne um vanilla bean color is a pipeline to prison so instead of suspending we will with the teachers the students whatever the harm persons all who were impacted by that guess where they come Diana to a circle wow and talk about it I am a facilitator of those things I love that tyranny listen I that was probably one of the biggest frustrations is like why I used to do

group therapy at a at at the my first but at you know the other alternative school that I worked at when I came back to the this industry of being a therapist I always wondered and I know about the the school to prison pipeline I studied it I was just and I that's what I would tell my individuals that come in out of DJJ depart Department of Juvenile Justice and I'm like all right you guys like

listen second grade here's the record but you know I'm like I'm here to help you but you have you know like what do you need well I realized a lot of them had so much trauma oh Ma'am come on yes so much trauma and I'm s in there like and nobody's asking the psychiatrist doesn't give a crap about that don't even wake that up and I'm sorry no no seriously or the the worst is like you

know the the whole family has so much trauma that they don't even know where to start and that's just the norm like you don't know it's not normal until someone teaches you this is not healthy but where do you go conversation remember I called you about the spare the RO conversation and I tried to be grown up and use what y'all taught me and my client sat me down I went okay I need to go back

and get some more to it is a hard place because that's the cultural difference that many do not understand and and I do understand where some vanillas love to say that you know well I was poor too and I and I get it there were like I remember living in these inner city Urban neighborhoods that I kind of grew up in in sometimes you know and uh and it's true like they didn't have anything either but

that's because they didn't have the education as well a Georgia too trailer parks with no water in man both of us we just you in the north I was in the South I saw it so yeah you're right you're right we know the majority of the people in these areas were people of color and so it's just having these conver and I'm trying to get people to understand like and when I try to talk about these

situations with some of my um white friends they don't they they become so defensive and you could tell right away that I can't and I've learned you got to take the step back and be like all right lord they're yours I got to because they not gonna get it or they're like that's the vi I literally have listen I want you I want you to here okay I'm ready go go you ready yeah these are statements

that it's it's called challenging common statement ments fostering understanding and healing okay these are the things that I've heard okay and then I was like you know I'm going to make a whole PDF on this to to bring to my ceu right that I'm teaching yeah I wasn't responsible for slavery or racism I'm gonna try to have a regular face I I want you to just because because what I did is wrote the statement okay and

then I and then I wrote an understanding the statements psychologically of why someone would say that and then I wrote The Challenge and the response for somebody to get them to really understand it's not that I'm trying to divide because if anyone knows me personally it's I'm about unity and that's why I'm I'm thinking like you and I and others like us are trying to have these conversations in safe spaces without people beating up each other

calling each other name or believing honestly believing what they're seeing in the media because the media is purposely throwing so much out there because fear controls contrs the brain you should share what you told me about fear those two different perspectives oh all right so I what I like to say is that you know we come in with a lot of false evidence appearing real right fear Fe a r false evidence appearing real but as you

go through therapy especially with people like me and tyranny then you go into the face everything in rise and we and we try to teach you how to face everything and rise in healthy ways because some people think face everything and Rise means like I have to now go over You Ah that's true yeah we come across that I see it I see I mean like I say I sit back and I take my notes and

I do a lot of praying now I understand why why the word says pray without ceasing I get it now go ahead sis so so these statements like get over it already that was in the past right uh talking about race all the time just divides people why should I feel guilty I didn't do anything Reverse Racism is just as bad as any other racism oh that one yeah you know but but but this is the

understanding the statement okay equates individual prejudice with systemic racism right and the challenge and the response is racism involves systemic power while any form of prejudice is wrong systemic racism has broader societal impacts that Reverse Racism does not yeah you're right yeah yeah thank you for that yeah you see and so it's about learning and being open and and when you get defensive and it I could get defensive too because I have to know my bias

I have biases ask my husband he's like you s little races against white men well by the way he's a white man oh I met him he looks like the maror man or something back in the day but he's rather deire he's thank you but but that's that's the thing is like having these conversations he's taught me I've taught him and we had to teach our son because think about it Multicultural one child yeah yeah yeah

well think about this I married to retired officer so that's a whole another culture oh my gosh he's a Marine that's a culture and um I have a son that's black who went to a a very I must say I'm so happy at the high school that he was able to attend a public Choice school dfus he plays the sax oh it's that artist school I know drus yeah and a lot of times he would go

in Palm Beach because they would do stuff over there and I remember driving him and I would say I here another word I'm going to say strong I detest aboard having this conversation with him but I felt obligated so son remember you're black over him and one day I said it to my group of vanilla Bible study ladies and one said oh I know the uh blah blah over there if he ever run us into a

problem I said man we want to get that far no because you don't know who you're dealing with yeah I said and I remember driving away they don't get it like I think I feel I tyranny Monique woods wherever I go I'm majority black person there because I love doing things the world allows me to why can't I so I go places and I said you know what y'all everywhere I show up know I'm a black

woman I feel I know I could go in the nicest people and I there's a I think there's a there is evidence of generational trauma that's in the earth that reverberates and empathic persons not even want to we feel deeply yes I can't tell you how many times I'm like Lord I don't don't want to feel I'm with you he's like major already yeah I'm like how many more years do I have to continue to be

on it's an on it's like an antenna that you you you pick it all up no matter if it's good or bad happy sad angry all of it right that's what makes us great therapists but we also have to learn how to process and let it go that's why we need to go to that Five Element spot that y'all talked about yeah all right it's a date when I come back when I come back intentional here's

something that our black and brown people have not I really want to be vanilla cinnamon Cayenne from now on in my life we don't talk about self- care no like if I say my friends oh I can't do that that's my spa day yeah okay B yep I am Bo y'all what you want to call me that's me I'm going to get these things rubbed out of my body I'm going to get P pampered I we

work really hard you know yeah that's a thing to that's an intergenerational thing too because I think it's if you understand just the history like first of all history of Black American history of immigrants right my I'm second my mom's from a different country right and my dad's from Puerto Rico and I'm still trying to figure out is that its own country or is that a United you know part of the United States I think it's

it own culture it is it is that it is its own culture right but we still have like rights in Puerto Rico but not we're not a state so I'm been confused about that most of my life but I know I'm I'm a proud boriqua part of half of me because the other half I have to be proud too but it is understanding that that's the systemic thing that happens right because it you you're taught by

a a village of how to be and that's all you actually know Until you realize someone mentors you someone that comes out of that area that's not from that part just and you're like wait there's a better way I didn't know that there's a better way there's a better way and so then you try to teach the family because that's a big thing that's happening in my in my um therapy practice is like a lot of

kids are going oh my gosh now I have to grieve this childhood and I'm trying to teach my mom or teach my dad or or teach my aunt or uncle or Grandpa like that's you know setting the boundaries and they're stuck in the trauma yeah yeah you know that's that's good Diana I here's the one thing though I wonder tell me what you think about this how much of it is our work because it's a big

work what we do you mean the the TR the the reframing of this traumatic um impact for persons that are sitting across from us that want to do different know um I'm a firstborn so that's a whole another yes the oldest oldest and it's a big gap between me and my siblings eight and seven years oh wow I'm also kind of mummified parentified parentified my parents worked so I was it was not babysitter what you go

and do and if you don't you get a butt whooping yeah or of things taken away or just yelled at the expectation was unrealistic really for seven year old it looking back now right but when they're sitting in front of my in front of me and I get I'm like man I see the I see the solution I see it they don't see it because they're really buried deep I have to be able to wait on

them to they feel comfortable enough safe enough trusting enough to consider what I'm giving them so I'm still a stranger yeah this therapy thing you look like me and you sound like my grandma my auntie my mom my sister but yeah you know this still is a vanilla thing therapy is for the vanillas yes you've heard that numerous times right oh yeah all the time all the time all the time that they don't trust it they

don't trust trust that system and I don't blame them because I have seen some Horror in our si in in our career like in Dam the D oh girl if we bring that you know the oration the original thing of psychology I taught the intro to psych so I put this I put all of the fathers on the board and I go so what what's tell me what you see old vanilla man two doonies that didn't

even consider us like someone was telling me you know like it took a minute in this Century the 19th century for women to even have their own bank accounts or own property in the 70 or or just a bunch of stuff 70s yes them the founders of this our platform where we are we're healthy yeah some rotes well and that's the challenge that was one of the challenges I remember at Nova and I forget what professor

and I'm just like I was looking in the beginning of like who create you know the authors right I was new and I'm sitting there looking and I'm going man this was like a man this okay no wait what and they're all like names that you know are not from our people right and I'm and they were like from Europe or wherever it is at DM definitely and then I'm like why are we on number four

it's like why well now we're on five five TR whatever and the sixth one will come with new things and everything and I get it you know I I understand we kind of need some kind of boundary but what happens what I've learned you you need to listen to the episode with Dr uh Roger mcfillin he calls it all out he call episode 18 okay thank you yeah because he he really calls out the pharmaceutical companies

and the DSM can I tell you something that happened to me now that I'm I know better your own golden way way before the pandemic pharmacies you would do these lavages lunches for us well you know I'm a um in grad school free lunch free lunch and I'm like why they always springing no one told me because I was a group leader so I was there on the bottom of the tonem pole and now looking back

I'm like they just selling their stuff oh my god well we're the only this country and I think it's Australia that are allowed to have commercials with Pharmaceuticals most countries don't have that our problem and then we're the sickest country with the but we have the most money I I don't understand it like not the most money because that might be Saudi Arabia but with their oil but I'm thinking about we're the ones who have them

you know we're America it's a beautiful country yeah yeah yeah but why we're we're the sickest country too with the highest anxiety depression suicide diabetes es I mean we could just keep going and going with what's happening but we have all the medications why side effects that they spill off really quick at the end of the commercial like yeah yeah and you know I don't want to um guilt or shame anyone that's taking whatever they're taking

you know what I mean I get it but I want you to understand there are better ways too and it's just because we are not educated they just had um this past Monday in Washington a bunch of functional integrative doctors and Robert F Kennedy Jr um all these people talking about big Pharmaceuticals and the food how they're poisoning our foods and everything because a lot of people that are in that underground movement and the grassroot movement

and the way I think too because I am a holistic integrative therapist and I studied a lot of nutrition and just my own personal walk of Health I realized like I didn't know this I had no idea there was a better way than just operations and and medications why would you and what about concrete deserts about that still where my mom lives there's no grocery store yeah my mom is older thank goodness she has us we

can pick up fruits and vegetables but even in Florida that's a cultur agricultural place it's concrete deserts food deserts that's what you're talking about where you can't get get anything at all except for the one Walmart right inside maybe if you're lucky was close to my mom public I don't work for them nor Walmart I'm just saying it can be sometimes challenging financially to get yes but this is why you like if you're listening and you

are like oh it's easy for you to you're you have master's degrees and you're making money well we're not making that much money because because what we actually do it's about the heart more than than the dollar obviously look really good doing it well we take care of ourselves well we learned we've learned the things right but getting the person to understand it isn't there's free natural things that God has given us right sunshine movement um

wa water I mean you have to pay for water but you know what I mean by that like hydration you don't have to get the juices it's like a we've been brainwashed by Propaganda for so long with unhealthy Foods in the commercials and that's that's what breaks my heart too when I remember like going back to where I lived or just seeing like where I come from and I'm like there's a better way than eating McDonald's

and I get it it's very addicting I was addicted to Burger King McDonald's used to be our family going out thing can you believe that like going out to dinner was McDonald's yeah well and back then the ingredients were different all these fast food companies have shortcuts now and you know what it does to your mental health terany like think about when you don't eat right you don't feel right if you don't and if you don't

feel right there goes your you know food and mood and then that goes back to the kids struggling yes hungry and what them is uh processed foods yes and then guess what that's the one that's diagnosed with ADHD because no one is realiz ing at home they might be getting the beat down or neglect or not the healthy foods and they're thirsty they're hungry they're not sleeping well especially now with the phon but then we're going

to come to school and get medicated and you're irritable so you're going to punch the kid in the face and then you get in trouble and there's the first thing that happens on your record not restorative and then the next but that's I I know the frustration because sure Diana and you have these answers but how much money is that going to cost how much time we have to hurry up right we have to hurry up

and put those kids in the in the system too like we gotta it's like we have to train them to read and WR read right in arithmetic but a lot of the other stuff is fluff can you imagine if we changed the schools and it was like reading reading is fundamental I love Frederick Douglas's statement of like when you learn to read you'll be for ever free that's true and you can go anywhere you want to

for free how about that yeah because reading is like but when you don't feel good and you're not feeling right and you don't understand and you're a little child we try to blame these next Generations but who raised them come on sis that's what I'm saying why yall they have parents yeah and it's like who ra that parent right what about the parent and the child ratio of time is not that far apart in some space

yeah Elemental and actually right and it's just like not knowing I do I remember some of these girls being pregnant in the school and they had their baby and they you because it was an alternative school so they're trying to get their their GED and stuff and you just see them like they're they're teenagers and they're frustrated and they're on the cell phone with the baby and the baby acts up and then it's like slapping him

to shut him up and I'm like the baby needs something sweetie can I help can I hold your baby you know like but yes it's education you know what terany I I we could talk all day we could talk all day but you know what I think we need to do you and I we should start a class together and go around different places and just speak and teach and love and understand because I sometimes think

I could have been stuck in one of those places you know like where people feel that they are like in a neighborhood or something like that and it's like it's just changing one thing at a time the starfish you know about the starfish porn yeah tell me about it I do but I want my listeners to know really quickly the little boy or a little person is on the beach and this adult comes and say what

are you doing I'm saving a life and the adult goes you cannot save all of these and the little person picks up one and says but this one I can yes one The Power of One even one of our presidents that was their running thing The Power of One never mind you my dear are doing it with this podcast well hopefully it's more than one listener but if it is only one I love you no I

meant one you it's gonna be a million listeners I afay it oh tyranny all right so as we end this podcast I just have this one question like are you g to start yours oh you are so sneaky I did not expect that yeah all right we're gonna work on it that's 2025 now that now that we're we're friends and we didn't even get to the Quality friendship and all the other 20 questions I asked wanting

to talk about that too but this was really good this I'll well I think this is important for people to understand in this space as well because you know there's interns that will be listening to this there's hopefully after I speak somebody will listen to this um you know and understand like oh okay like they you know it's it's just learning how to have communication and ask questions respectfully right yes I agree 100 right and Le

and learn not to take things personally you know that's the thing that's why that's why people react like that when they feel uncomfortable and when you're being challenged like really it's just understanding why you feel the way you feel you see the world the way you are not the way it really is and how you experienced it up to that point yeah exactly and we all have the right to be validate like validation love like you

were saying safety validation love respect communication seen I see you I see you I see you that's right so how do people find you if they want to hire you as a therapist in Florida or as a speaker or where whatever yes I will definitely it's so easy so I know you're typed up our information my email is my name um and don't forget the m so it's tyranny M Woods okay so definitely because if it

just goes to tyranny Woods I have no idea who that is but I know who tyranny M was is at that's me okay and I have some social posts that I'm sure you pop in there yeah your social media is my name and our counseling counseling Spa therapist I love that we're gonna have to talk more about that too I love it too told you I'm boo no it's you know self-care is like that oxygen tank

we got to put it on ourselves before we try to help everybody else honestly with no guilt or Shame about it so Diana thank you I really pray for your upcoming event this podast going viral I'm excited for who's goingon to be next so I can watch and learn and just thank you for today no thank you for coming on and being willing to be raw and real and relational all right so listener don't forget to

trust in the Lord guard your heart and renew your mind bye and now for the disclaimer to make sure you understand that you are responsible for you the content provided on the holistic counselor podcast is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice diagnosis or treatment always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or

mental condition never never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast the views expressed on this podcast are my personal opinions and do not represent the views of any professional organizations with which I am Affiliated call your doctor 911 or 988 immediately if you have a medical emergency the holistic counselor podcast does not recommend or endorse any specific tests Physicians products procedures opinions or other information that may

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it when interacting on this platform or any other public forum thank you